I know some people are really struggling and maybe some people even pathologically struggling.

I know what it feels like to be shaking crossing the hospital threshold, goosebumps, and visceral terror, complete inability to remember the dose of paracetamol (I mean, this is me!) and I had the most awful flashbacks and nightmares and wouldn't sleep for days on end.

Before this episode of what I now realised to be PTSD (though to be honest it still feels I was just being a wet wipe, and I really did think that) I had never suffered anxiety, and would climb on a wild horse, or dive into any chaotic emergency without blinking.

I used to get given all the badly behaved ponies as a child who mucked out stables for rides, cos I loved the thrill. Once I fell off my horse at the same wall 10 times, and kept getting back on, even though it really did hurt, which is probably the issue.

The point is sometimes really weird stuff can happen, even when we think we are very resilient. and there's a lot of neurotransmitters going on.

I had CBT and it was probably too fast for many, but I could do trauma on calls again within a fortnight. I've not looked back. The skills I learned, have meant I have stayed relatively chill to a lot of others during this pandemic

Really advise people to talk to someone if they feel at all strange. Wish someone had told me so I didn't feel so ashamed of myself!

You can definitely feel normal again! (I still don't believe that happened, it was unrecognisable!!) and constantly surprised how many (aspirational) people have had same. I'm not a fluffy fluffy person but in case one person sees, you're not a total weirdo, just have a chat!