1/ This is the absolute most GARBAGE article I’ve read in awhile and I’m fuming!!!! How we think about trauma is vital to how we move on from it | Mental health | The Guardian https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2020/dec/16/think-about-trauma-vital-move-labelling

2/ I’m not even going to go into it but this absolute BS from people sanctimoniously lecturing us not to succumb to our “trauma narratives” or give into the doom ‘lest we lose are sense of agency can just go away forever. If that’s a concern some people want to weigh that’s fine

3/ There’s a whole lot of different kinds/degrees of trauma. Waving some bullshit platitudes at survivors about how problematic their narratives are is just pure garbage. Go away with that nonsense. I take plenty of responsibility for myself and my choices

4/ How dare some dude who has no *idea* what I’ve lived or how it affects me in an ongoing way pontificate about how troubling “trauma narratives” (condescending term) are. Those of us who face enormous trauma aren’t succumbing to it because we fail to take responsibility

5/ I take more responsibility for all kinds of stuff in every damn aspect of my life and yes I have a “trauma narrative.” What an offensive reductionist piece. We don’t need people pontificating at us about how we should view our experiences. Go away. Please and thank you.

6/ If you haven’t and aren’t living it, you don’t get a vote as to what works for others. Tell your own tale on its own terms and I’ll humbly listen and reflect on whether it works for me or not. This is why no one trauma survivor speaks for all. If eschewing a particular way...

7/ ...of viewing your trauma helps you, great. Do it and feel free to talk about it. But don’t dare tell others how they should feel or suggest they aren’t taking responsibility if they have a different narrative (either by necessity or choice). There is more than one way...

8/ ...to be responsible. No one gets to dictate how others should make sense of what’s happened to them. The complexity of trauma and personal circumstances render that absurd and harmful. Just stop. I proudly embrace a “trauma narrative” and I’m plenty responsible. Bye now.

9/ Honestly I welcome an audit of all the things I’ve done to take ENORMOUS responsibility for myself and guess what?? My trauma is still with me and you’re damn right I’m allowing myself to have a “narrative” about its impact. Why wouldn’t I?

10/ We can also do an audit of how much trauma I have and please show me the percentage of people with that kind of trauma for whom it simply goes poof with a reframed “narrative” and assertion of “responsibility.” Sure maybe it works for some but I’m not allowing some random...

11/ ..person to suggest that my way of framing the narrative of what I’ve experienced and he knows nothing about is wrong. Tell your own story. Let the rest of us tell ours.

Anyway the idea that there’s some stark dichotomy between being a “victim” and being “responsible” is simplistic and harmful IMO. If it helps someone personally to see it that way fine but there’s a whole lot of nuance in between. It ain’t an either or

Also and the extent to which so many of us bend over backwards nearly killing ourselves to “take responsibility” and not succumb to doom and yet still suffer even worse for it because TRAUMA makes this “responsibility narrative” horribly offensive and vicious.

I promise I’ve stretched and strained to take responsibility every which way. I promise you it is not the magic pill some people simplistically portray it as though it may be what some need depending on their own personal circumstances. Don’t impose it on others ever.

And yet my TRAUMA still has its grips on me despite me obsessing over all the ways I could be responsible. Because that’s how it is sometimes. It’s not a “narrative” that all of us can simply cast off. Maybe some can, but then it should be a mere gentle suggestion. We each decide

Humans get to make sense/meaning of this deeply paradoxical thing we call life. It is so icky when people use our trauma as a basis to take that away from us. Stop. There are all kinds of philosophy books for a reason: these questions aren’t settled. Stay in your lane.