I don’t see my therapist as trying to change or fix me. Rather I see him as helping me create conditions in which change is possible and then trusting me to spontaneously change in the ways that work best for me. And it works beautifully.

And by conditions I think I mean a safe collaborative space in which those shifts can start to happen if and only if I wish and choose them.

I think this works because for me healing from trauma is less about fixing the “problems” with the person who has been traumatized & more about removing the obstacles that prevent/impair the movement towards “healing” (or purpose or whatever) we already have within us

So much “damage” from trauma for me is more about the exclusion/friction constantly caused by a world in which survivors aren’t allowed to be themselves & pursue their healing freely, openly & without fear/shame/misunderstanding. Providing the right spaces can be everything

Trying to do more than that and change the person or impose a manualized system or protocol is therefore counterproductive/harmful for me at least. I’m not broken. I just need the right spaces and relationships to support me in seeking my own healing in my own way.

And the trust in the initial tweet does a lot of work here. Why try to change someone? Why assume they wouldn’t want to change themselves once the conditions are right? Why not let that process unfold? Trust is everything in this context. Change conditions, not people.

(If change is what they truly need, which may not always be the case. I wish more mental health professionals would trust people and see what emerges.)

I’m not saying there won’t be specific issues and problems that may not require some kind of response to help. I’m just talking about the overall framework within which that can start to happen and be freely chosen (or declined)