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I think a lot of the narratives of system pride center “I’m proud to have survived” or “I’m proud of myself despite this.”
And it’s took a long time to say it, but I’m proud of having OSDD. Period. No add ons, ifs, ands, or buts. I’m proud and happy to be a system.
And it’s took a long time to say it, but I’m proud of having OSDD. Period. No add ons, ifs, ands, or buts. I’m proud and happy to be a system.
The narratives of “you don’t want to have DID/OSDD,” “don’t wish you had this disorder,” “you shouldn’t want this,” don’t feel right in our mouth.
It’s like saying “you don’t want to be disabled. It’s not a desirable thing.” That leaves an bad taste in my mouth.
It’s like saying “you don’t want to be disabled. It’s not a desirable thing.” That leaves an bad taste in my mouth.
No one is allowed to tell us that existing w any of our disabilities, including OSDD, is undesirable. Unwanted. Unpleasant.
Because that’s our existence. Are we not allowed to desire to be ourselves in all our complexity? Not allowed to enjoy our existence in its multiplicity?
Because that’s our existence. Are we not allowed to desire to be ourselves in all our complexity? Not allowed to enjoy our existence in its multiplicity?
Disabled existence is neither better nor worse then nondisabled existence. We deserve to love and cherish ourselves the way we are.
Disability can and should be desirable, because disabilities shape our lives, and our lives deserve to be desirable. My life, right now, is desirable. Our existence as a disabled plural system is desirable, simply because it’s ours.
Yes, our physical disabilities literally cause us pain, even we as type this. But we’re still proudly disabled. We still want to exist like this, bc it’s *our* existence. It’s ours and ours alone, and we’re allowed to want & love & cherish our proud, disabled, plural, existence.
I want to have OSDD. I want to be disabled, autistic, complex. I want to because our life is shaped by our disabilities, who we are is inseparable from them - and we are allowed to want to be ourselves the way we exist, now, in this very moment.
I love having OSDD, because I love ourselves right now in this moment, and being ourselves in this moment means having OSDD. I love it the same way I love our memories and hands and eyes and pain and stories. They all help make up us, and we make up them, and we love them for it.
OSDD is a fact of our existence, and I shouldn’t have to separate ourselves from it to deserve love. Or pride, or joy, or peace. Either from myself or from others.
No “I want to be myself after therapy” “I’m proud for everything I got through” “I’m proud of myself despite my disability.”
I’m proud of my current, complex, disabled plural trans autistic existence. I want to be myself holistically, complexly, as I am right now.
I’m proud of my current, complex, disabled plural trans autistic existence. I want to be myself holistically, complexly, as I am right now.
(For those concerned for some reason, it doesn’t mean I don’t want to heal from trauma. I also want to be the me that will exist after healing, & future me will want to be myself then. But I also want to be the me now, who is working to heal, & is living a life of complexity)
I get to want to be myself, in my entire disabled plural complexity. We get to be proud of who we are, not despite our disabilities, but because of them.
I love myself because of my disabilities. We love ourselves because we’re plural. And that’s ok
I love myself because of my disabilities. We love ourselves because we’re plural. And that’s ok
As a closing note, there’s a lot of disability references, bc OSDD is entwined with disability for us right now. But when we heal from trauma & don’t meet distress criteria for a disorder, we’ll just be plural - and we shouldn’t have more or less reasons to love ourselves then.
And check out @sinsinvalid , because they do a lot of great work on disability and desirability 
