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A common misconception about seeing ourselves as people or pursing healing multiplicity (often held by trolls in our DM’s) is that we’re afraid of “being parts” or “integrating / losing separateness”
...they do know folks in our system have purposefully integrated before, right?
...they do know folks in our system have purposefully integrated before, right?
People in our system have purposefully gone through integration/fusion before. It was a positive experience for us - and beyond that, it solved issues that we didn’t have any other solutions for at the time. I can genuinely say that looking back, we’re glad we integrated.
Our experience with integration/fusion is part of why we advocate for all pathways to healing to be accepted, honored, and supported - we’ve been on both ends, and seen the healing benefits that both fusion and healthy multiplicity can bring.
Seeing ourselves as people or choosing healthy multiplicity isn’t because we’re afraid of the other options. We’ve already been there, done that, had too many therapy sessions on it to count, and worked out that there are better options for us, personally.
I don’t know how many times I have to say it for it to sink in - we’ve been in therapy for 8 years now, seeing a DID specialist for 4-5 of them. These aren’t decisions we made on our own, and they are fully supported by our care team. It’s truly what’s best and healthiest for us.
But even for those who haven’t experienced integration or loss of separateness - healthy multiplicity is a choice, often made out of what is best for the system.
And I cannot even begin to explain how horrible it is that some folks find it fit to say that healthy multiplicity, or seeing yourself as people, is always harmful and never healthy - and is choice made out of fear.
It’s no one’s job to decide what is or isn’t healthy for certain systems. You aren’t their therapist. You aren’t them. The only people who can decide what is or isn’t healthy for a system is the system themselves.
(and their therapist/care team).
(and their therapist/care team).
When we say “respect people’s healing decisions” it also means fully supporting them. Regardless of what they choose and what’s best for them. It’s not “you see yourself like that out of fear” it’s “yes, I support you. You are the authority on your own healing.”
Sometimes we respond to the DM’s, and say “if you think our choices and views of personhood are unhealthy, I can give you our therapist’s phone number.” And I’ll say it here too, bc we’re tired of people in this community telling us that she’s wrong and our healing is unhealthy.
