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I do stupid shit in my dreams.
Last night I dreamed I was trying to steal a pizza from a sleeping grizzly bear. The bear woke, and very kindly asked for the pizza back. (It talked.) I should have just returned the pizza but instead I cursed the bear out and insulted its mother.
Last night I dreamed I was trying to steal a pizza from a sleeping grizzly bear. The bear woke, and very kindly asked for the pizza back. (It talked.) I should have just returned the pizza but instead I cursed the bear out and insulted its mother.
The bear started moving toward me, and I should have run. But instead I thought maybe I could still steal the pizza if I played my cards right. To make a distraction, I started smashing all the furniture in its bear house. The bear was pissed and started to growl as it advanced.
At this point I was in big trouble. I should have set down the pizza and begged for my life. But no. The magical thinking kicked in and I decided to up the ante. I opened the box and threw the hot pizza right in the bear's face. The bear swatted the pizza away with a huge paw.
Fuck it, I figured, I'm more or less out of options at this point. So I threw myself at the bear with all my might, figuring I just might get lucky and strike a devastating blow.
Fat chance of that.
I woke screaming as the bear ripped off my face with rotting yellow teeth.
Fat chance of that.
I woke screaming as the bear ripped off my face with rotting yellow teeth.
Anyway, this is pretty much how the Trump administration has handled the pandemic thus far.
