I'm seeing a lot of people seem to not understand that we can call a sexual interaction coercive and unethical without saying the man should be put in jail. No Aziz Ansari didn't rape anyone. Does that mean we shouldn't talk about the encounter as problematic? /1 #MeToo #TimesUp

We need to use discussions like this as a learning experience for MEN. Yes let's work to empower women to be able to walk away sooner but men should learn that when women express discomfort they're uncomfortable not playing hard to get. /2 #MeToo

When I was in law school (23) there was a guy I had been flirting with a lot but I never expected it to go past that. He showed up at my apartment one night and asked to come up. I let him up. /3

I lived in the kind of apartment where we had no place to hang out other than in my bedroom. The second we were in my room he pushed me against the bed and started aggressively making out with me. I was not into it but he was also very aggressive and much bigger than me. /4

I didn't scream no or run out or violently push him away. The evening ended w/ us hooking up and my feeling gross after. Would I ever call the cops about this kind of encounter? Absolutely not. However it took me a long time to realize this was a coercive sexual encounter /5

There are many reasons that I didn't scream no or run away. One is that when a man is being aggressive towards me and controls me physically I never know what will escalate the situation and what will get me out of it. /6

Another is that I knew this guy. We were friends. I had flirted with him. What repercussions would I face in law school the next day if I was too hostile back to him? Also I was surprised by his behavior and wasn't fully prepared to deal with it well. And many other reasons /7

We can talk about consent and these problematic sexual experiences to empower women AND educate men w/o sending every man we call out to jail. Assuming talking about these issues is only to punish men makes it impossible to improve & dismisses & silences women trying to speak.

I'm sure many women have many of these stories. I wish people would understand that just because an encounter isn't criminal doesn't mean it's ok.

I don't want to question her role or ensure his career is ruined but I also think his career and how he handles this accusation is his responsibility not ours