I strongly believe that despite what they think, Californians are some of the most religious people on Earth. In other places the belief systems are thousands of years old but here people fervently believe stuff from the 70s, or like, that a food marketing MBA guy made up in 2009

I have been threatened by Indonesian Islamists but the most pure fanatical rage I have ever experienced is when I told a Silverlake yoga mom that alkaline water is fake

I literally regretted it immediately and do to this day, it was not my place to blaspheme her religion in front of her, actually I should be in jail

In california saying "actually you can't 'detox' your body by putting something into it" is the equivalent of doing a rude cartoon of the prophet, except a billion times more offensive

One of the best parts of my los angeles new years eve was watching the face of my friend (a neuroscientist from london) as another friend explained that when she does breathing exercises right she can levitate

This really happened, then we talked about meditation apps and the politics if managing edm stars for 40 minutes

On new years eve in LA I delivered the phrase "I haven't spoken to Steve Aoki since 2007" and it was simultaneously the biggest joke and truest thing I have ever said

Just wanna be clear that this is not coming from a boring Ricky Gervais atheist position, I have real respect for religion and hey if yours is Crossfit while mine is Catholicism that's fine, just don't act morally superior about it

What do orthodox muslims and hollywood comedy writers have in common

Another strong rule about LA is everyone secretly knows it sucks, so you aren't allowed to roast it. In NYC or London you can say "fuck this place" all day as a joke and people giggle but in LA people will @ you and really earnestly ask you why you're being cruel on New Year's