Oh no! Your Star Wars had some “inconsistencies”? So sad.

Listen here motherfucker. I saw Episode 1-3 in theaters. I sat through shit you couldn’t imagine. Jar-Jar Binks. BackFlipping Yoda. Midichloreans. Space diners. That’s right, a FUCKING SPACE DINER. AND YOU HAVE THE NERVE-

No, this isn’t a screenshot from a 1998 PC game that came in a cereal box. This shit was what I had to sit through. You get beautiful, imaginative fight sequences on salt sprinkled red planets. I got space diner. Go fuck yourself.

Aww, you didn’t get enough Luke Skywalker as you wanted??? So sad! You bastards, I sat through 9 hours spread out over the better part of a decade to see Darth Vader and when he finally showed up he basically only said one word.

You thought the bad guy was too two dimensional and **SPOILER** got disappointingly sabered in half before we could learn more about him? OH GEE. I CAN’T IMAGINE WHAT THAT’S LIKE.

What’s that? Carrie Fisher shouldn’t have been able to survive in space? Yeah I guess that is unrealistic. Especially when you consider HER MOTHER DIED WHEN SHE WAS YOUNG AND HEALTHY BECAUSE SHE WAS IN A SHITTY MOOD ONCE.

You all sicken me.

YOU ALL THINK IM JOKING. A DUDE WITH ANTENNA TRIED TO SELL OBI-WAN KENOBI SOME COKE. THAT HAPPENED AND I PAID MONEY TO WATCH. REAL MONEY.

Oh god, I've upset the corner of the internet that loves the prequels, may the force be with me.