(1) I am a gay man who was raised in a heteronormative world. A part of this world I have always been baffled by is "modesty" culture.
(2) The main premise of "modesty" culture is that women need to dress in a way that doesn't provoke sexual response in men. Which is insane.
(3) I think it is absolutely crazy that a man can look at a woman and say "I think you should wear something else, because seeing your skin
1/No. A man is biased by his arousal. Your AROUSAL is obvious to you. But you can't know a woman's intention if she hasn't said it. Period.
2/To think you can is hugely problematic. Men project intention on women because of their AROUSAL. Not because they somehow read her mind.
3/ You cannot know a woman's intent without her telling you. It would be like me assuming you wore a tight suit to "get attention."
4/ Some men might do that sometimes. But if you wear a tight suit and it turns me on I can't just ASSUME you did so to turn people on.
5/ I can't know why YOU wore that suit. Only YOU know that. Maybe you just like it. Maybe you feel good in it. Maybe it was a gift from gf.
6/ For me to assume your motive is wrong. It's also disrespectful. Even if you go shirtless or wear shorts that accentuate your package.
7/ I CANNOT KNOW why you wore those things, even if I've heard you are "slutty" or even if I've known other guys who get attention this way.
8/It's a direct parallel. If it's true for you and me, it's true for you and them. See? It's as true when objectified as when objectifying.