Let's talk about something important! Put that porno down. Cumming is for closers only. Do you think I'm fucking with you? I am not fucking with you. I'm here from Club Tropicale Excellent. I'm here from BAP and Tacos. And I'm here on a mission of mercy.

You call yourself "vital" you son of a bitch? The good news is you're blocked. The bad news is you've got, all of you've got, one week to stop jerking off and earn your unblock, starting tonight.

Oh, have I got your attention now? Good. We're adding a little something to this month's poontang contest. As you all know first prize is premium cooze. Wanna see second prize? Second prize a useless 4am retweet. Third prize you're blocked. You get the picture? You COOMING now?

You got the prospects coming in. You think they superliked you just to get a free meal? Rich oriental broad doesn't swipe on you unless she wants the BWC. They're sitting out there WAITING to give you the pussy! Are you gonna take it? Are you man enough to take it?

I can go out there tonight with the swipes and likes you got, close myself at least two pieces of preem! Tonight! In two hours! Can you? Get horny! Get horny you son of a bitches!

You know what it takes to pick up a Japanese manufacturing heiress by the ankles and bite her on the fur cookie?