ALRIGHT... the time has come.

The completely deranged making of Super Mario Bros. (1993): A thread. https://twitter.com/nocturnalbones/status/1362199529752301570

So to begin I will say I LOVE THIS MOVIE; I believe it is a cult classic. It’s the first live action movie based on a video game.  However, it has been called one of the worst movies made in 1993. It took $48 MILLION to make ($3k of this was spent on worms), and made UNDER $21M.

Casting: Dustin Hoffman first expressed interest in playing Mario-AFTER winning two academy awards- however, Nintendo of America president disagreed, and he was let go.

The next choice was Danny DeVito (can you imagine)- but after he read the script (one of literally like 15 which we will get into later), he turned it down.

They then reached out to Tom Hanks who AGREED to play the role of Mario for $5 million. But before he could sign, Nintendo and the producers got nervous and declined after The Burbs had received mixed reviews. The same year, Tom Hanks won an Oscar for his role in Philadelphia.

They eventually cast Bob Hoskins (Who Framed Roger Rabbit), who didn’t know it was based on a video game.
Shortly after, John Leguizamo took the role of Luigi. Arnold Schwarzenegger and Michael Keaton were approached for Koopa, but declined.

Dennis fucking Hopper landed the role of King Koopa instead, and Daisy was played by Samantha Mathis.

The script: This script was written several times (several is gracious)- by about 6+ different people. One of the original writers being Barry Marrow, who won an Oscar for Rain Man, and Jim Jennewein and Tom Parker (The Flinstones and Richie Rich).

After hiring and firing a handful of directors, they decided to settle on a married couple, Rocky Morton and Annabell Jankel who had only directed ONE movie…

BUT had directed music videos for The Talking Heads and Miles Davis. They also directed this weird ass UK shit called Max Headroom, a cyberpunk television film. (Which is actually sick).

They then fired Jim and Tom, and hired two completely new writers. Nintendo was nervous but enjoyed the new script and gave it the green light. Then the directors switched it. They wanted to create a parallel universe where dinosaurs evolved (???) called Dinohattan... aksjsj

The script was re written AGAIN… then the writers were fired for two more writers. So this is like 8 fucking writers now. Guess what happened? The new writers were hired under a contract that the directors were not allowed to work with the writers LMFAOOOO?!

On the set: David Snyder (Blade Runner) produced the set which is its best charm. Hollywood Pictures agreed to back the film and it was finally ready to be made.
The actors show up… and are handed a brand new scripts they had never seen before.

Everyone hated it, was pissed, are filming in a 100 degree cement warehouse, the script was changed over a dozen times during the filming. The crew was so upset they all mocked the directors to the point of making shirts with different quotes they said that were rude or stupid.

During filming, director Rocky Morton decided the costumes looked to pristine. His solution was pouring HOT COFFEE ON ONE OF THE EXTRAS- seeping through the rubber suit and burning him. Morton’s response literally was a shrug, and another explanation…

... that he ACTUALLY first threw mud on the extra and his costume, followed by coffee, to make it stick. (?!?)

By this point the entire crew was doing shots of scotch during filming; all of the actors were wasted on set. One day during a stunt scene, Hoskins (Mario) broke his hand on a sliding door of the truck while Leguizamo (Luigi) was driving it drunk as fuck during filming.

He ended up wearing a cast for the duration of filming, which they PAINTED TO LOOK LIKE A FIST. You can actually see this in the movie and personally, I love it.

Editing and release: The film was ready to b edited after 15 weeks, and the directors were BANNED from taking part. They literally had to get help from the Directors Guild of America JUST to intervene with anything in editing.
It hit the box office… and plummeted.

Obviously, everyone assumed it would be based off the video game. Instead, it is a tale about a meteor hitting earth and creating a parallel dimension where dinosaurs survived, and over time become humanoids. Which is cool as fuck tbh.

There is pretty much no comprehensible plot, and every character looks entirely different from the game other than Mario and Luigi. Toad is literally an idiot with an acoustic guitar and Goomba’s are shrunken head frog monsters.

Guess what dinosaur movie came out after?..... Jurrasic fucking Park. Bob Hoskins was interviewed about it and said it was the worst job he’s ever done, and the biggest disappointment in his career. Dennis Hopper said it’s the only movie he has ever regretted making.

And that is how Super Mario Bros. was made to bless us with its unapologetic chaos. (I also want to credit Kristin Pitts for a lot of this info!)