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F1 drivers as biscuits: a thread
Lewis Hamilton: Lotus biscuit.
Always there, even when you don't want him to be, but never fails to impress.
Always there, even when you don't want him to be, but never fails to impress.
Valtteri Bottas: Shortbread.
Solid biscuit, but no reason to pick it over any other.
Solid biscuit, but no reason to pick it over any other.
Max Verstappen: Party Ring
A colourful character that people either love or hate. Often a disappointingly small amount of them in the packet. Quite bland inside.
A colourful character that people either love or hate. Often a disappointingly small amount of them in the packet. Quite bland inside.
Sergio Perez: Plain Digestive
Good biscuit with lots of fans, yet seemingly has nothing interesting about it. Could probably go with anything.
Good biscuit with lots of fans, yet seemingly has nothing interesting about it. Could probably go with anything.
Charles Leclerc: Custard Cream.
Everybody likes a custard cream. Has a lovable charm; for some reason you keep going back to the packet for more.
Everybody likes a custard cream. Has a lovable charm; for some reason you keep going back to the packet for more.
Carlos Sainz: Hobnob
A solid biscuit, but with many valid reasons to dislike it. Quite bland, although pretends not to be. Can and will be dunked over and over again.
A solid biscuit, but with many valid reasons to dislike it. Quite bland, although pretends not to be. Can and will be dunked over and over again.
Daniel Ricciardo: Chocolate Hobnob
Like a Hobnob, but better in almost every conceivable way. A hardened veteran with a delicate top layer, and vastly underrated.
Like a Hobnob, but better in almost every conceivable way. A hardened veteran with a delicate top layer, and vastly underrated.
Lando Norris: Jammy Dodger
Seems like a solid biscuit, but is even better when you find out what's on the inside. Most people like him, but some find him a little too much.
Seems like a solid biscuit, but is even better when you find out what's on the inside. Most people like him, but some find him a little too much.
Sebastian Vettel: Nice Biscuit
No-one seems to actively dislike them, we all just accept that they're there and are glad to see them on the table.
No-one seems to actively dislike them, we all just accept that they're there and are glad to see them on the table.
Lance Stroll: Pink Wafer
Very good biscuit when it turns up in the shop. When it doesn't, you're left somewhat disappointed that it's not in stock, leaving you excited for when it'll turn up again.
Very good biscuit when it turns up in the shop. When it doesn't, you're left somewhat disappointed that it's not in stock, leaving you excited for when it'll turn up again.
Fernando Alonso: Jaffa Cake.
No-one is quite sure how this biscuit makes the list. As long as it's not stale, it will be a very good experience, but if it is stale, we'll be left yearning for the past in which the biscuit was in its prime.
No-one is quite sure how this biscuit makes the list. As long as it's not stale, it will be a very good experience, but if it is stale, we'll be left yearning for the past in which the biscuit was in its prime.
Esteban Ocon: Fig Roll
The good stuff is hidden on the inside. Not to everyone's tastes, but those who like him love him. Had his chance in the past as a fig fruit, but has been made anew. Also a little bit crumbly.
The good stuff is hidden on the inside. Not to everyone's tastes, but those who like him love him. Had his chance in the past as a fig fruit, but has been made anew. Also a little bit crumbly.
Pierre Gasly: Chocolate Digestive.
Appears to be your run-of-the-mill biscuit on first glance, but upon further inspection is so much more. Noone dislikes a chocolate digestive.
Appears to be your run-of-the-mill biscuit on first glance, but upon further inspection is so much more. Noone dislikes a chocolate digestive.
Yuki Tsunoda: Jam & Cream
Very nice biscuit, but many people haven't seen enough of them to form a solid opinion. A safe choice for a good biscuit.
Very nice biscuit, but many people haven't seen enough of them to form a solid opinion. A safe choice for a good biscuit.
Kimi Raikkonen: Malted Milk.
Probably your grandpa's favourite biscuit. Extremely bland, but a biscuit tin wouldn't feel the same without them. Old.
Probably your grandpa's favourite biscuit. Extremely bland, but a biscuit tin wouldn't feel the same without them. Old.
Antonio Giovinazzi: Rich Tea.
Crumbles under the pressure. No-ones quite sure why they are still in the cupboard, but no-ones exactly complaining.
Crumbles under the pressure. No-ones quite sure why they are still in the cupboard, but no-ones exactly complaining.
Mick Schumacher: Maryland Cookie
Everyone collectively agrees that they're good, but we aren't exactly sure how we came to the conclusion. Everyone knows the name.
Everyone collectively agrees that they're good, but we aren't exactly sure how we came to the conclusion. Everyone knows the name.
Nicholas Latifi: Crunch Cream.
No-one expects to like a crunch cream, and yet they prove themselves to be solid and reliable. We don't see enough of crunch creams to tell whether they're really good or not.
No-one expects to like a crunch cream, and yet they prove themselves to be solid and reliable. We don't see enough of crunch creams to tell whether they're really good or not.
George Russell: Viennese Whirl.
Very tasty biscuit, one of the best. Despite this, is very delicate, and is prone to crumbling under too much pressure. Still up there with the best, even though we don't see enough of them.
Very tasty biscuit, one of the best. Despite this, is very delicate, and is prone to crumbling under too much pressure. Still up there with the best, even though we don't see enough of them.
