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I have learned more than I ever wanted to know in the past twelve months about elder financial abuse. Here are things I wish I knew to look out for a year ago
First of all, there is an entire industry set up to part elders with their money. I'm talking monthly subscriptions for stupid stuff, such as twenty dollars a month for the privilege of buying from a catalog full of crap at a "discount." (Not making this up.)
There are expensive subscriptions for tech support that will hold your elder's laptop for weeks to "fix it" counting on the fact that she is not confident enough about tech to argue with the "expert."
Ending these subscriptions is difficult after a spouse dies. See if you can help your elder see the folly of these kinds of monthly expenses and help her end them.
Remember that many women have been taught that it is unbecoming to talk about, think about, or ask about money (including me and I'm Gen X). There is a lot of shame around money for many elderly women (and men). This shame makes them vulnerable to cons and scams.
For example, an elder may see her pension or profit from the sale of property as an exorbitant amount of money, when really it's just enough to get by on comfortably. They will think they have enough to give away, and also that it would be immoral not to.
Your elder may be vulnerable to family members and others who will come out of the woodwork inviting your elder to go in with them in "investments." There are people who won't ask for money outright but will always make sure your elder knows they are strapped for cash.
One buffer: Tell your elder that they should consult with an expert or another trustworthy person about any "investment opportunities" or major cash donations in order to protect "everyone involved." This will hopefully protect them from decisions they can't take back.
A Twitter friend reminded me just now that there are tons of online and telemarketing companies who bombard your elder every day. Some of them are perfectly "legal" but will drain your elder of her money.
Many of our elders will believe someone who calls them and tells them that they need to give over their information over the phone or online. If the website or caller seems official, they will fall for it. Period. I know this for a fact.
If your elder will listen to you, offer a hard fast rule of thumb: NEVER give out any information or money to anyone who contacts them first. Period.
For example, there is a company that uses the DMV logo on their website to solicit the service of processing DMV business for you for a fee. Your elder will think that is the actual DMV and give them money for something that should be free. I am telling you this.
Here is the big one I wish I knew before: See if your elder has entered into legally binding contracts with anyone. Has she co-signed a lease with someone who couldn't qualify on their own? Is she responsible for someone's phone bill? Just ask. This is an extremely common con.
A perfectly legal con, I might add. Elders sometimes don't get that they are on the hook legally for any expenses incurred from a contract they have signed. If the con artist (very often someone the elder loves and trusts) doesn't pay the bills, the elder is totally stuck.
If the con artist (again, confusing because this is often someone the elder loves and trusts) does not tell the elder that the bills are going unpaid, she could be thousands of dollars in the hole before she realizes. And then, of course, her credit is ruined.
This particular co-signing con is really common, come to find out. And here is another thing: Getting out of these contracts and leases very often requires the con artist to also agree to release the elder from the contract. Think about that.
Our elders, women especially, are extremely vulnerable to cons and swindles, many of them perfectly legal. I am still learning as I go, but the depths of greed and depravity around elder financial abuse continues to shock me. It's so real.
Last bit: Elders often refuse help or hide the truth from the helper because you are shattering her view of the world and her loved one(s). There are people who will help you if you reach out. I couldn't do this without support. The end. Good luck. Go get 'em.
