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There comes a point in everyone's life where in order to grow further, they have to "kill their heroes"
To stop looking up to others for examples and start looking at themselves to set the example
But who are your most crucial heroes? The ones holding you back the most?
Thread
To stop looking up to others for examples and start looking at themselves to set the example
But who are your most crucial heroes? The ones holding you back the most?
Thread
The two most important heroes you'll ever have, are your parents
Because they were your everything at the most critical stage of your life
They hugely affected you when you were young
Either due to their presence, or due to the lack of their presence
Because they were your everything at the most critical stage of your life
They hugely affected you when you were young
Either due to their presence, or due to the lack of their presence
When people think of their parents, there are usually two general options
1) They still adore them & look up to them
2) They have feelings of resentment towards them
Usually people have a bit of both when thinking of their parents
Remembering good and bad things
1) They still adore them & look up to them
2) They have feelings of resentment towards them
Usually people have a bit of both when thinking of their parents
Remembering good and bad things
Our parents were crucial when we were growing up
They were our heroes when we were young
Which is why their acceptance of us felt so important
And why their rejections of us felt so awful
So much so, that they still limit us even if we're adults now
They were our heroes when we were young
Which is why their acceptance of us felt so important
And why their rejections of us felt so awful
So much so, that they still limit us even if we're adults now
Every time a parent encouraged you to do something, you built strong positive associations with doing that thing
Whenever a parent rejected something we did, it caused strong negative associations with doing that thing
These associations still live in us today (subconsciously)
Whenever a parent rejected something we did, it caused strong negative associations with doing that thing
These associations still live in us today (subconsciously)
Furthermore as kids we heavily observed what our parents did and didn't do
We watched their habits and their behaviors so much, that we automatically started copying them
Good or bad doesn't matter. Small kids think their parents are perfect, so they copy them blindly
We watched their habits and their behaviors so much, that we automatically started copying them
Good or bad doesn't matter. Small kids think their parents are perfect, so they copy them blindly
Who you are today is a direct result of what your parents encouraged you to be
And also of what your parents discouraged you to be
You are in a large part also behaving according to the habits and behaviours you witnessed your parents do when you were a little child
And also of what your parents discouraged you to be
You are in a large part also behaving according to the habits and behaviours you witnessed your parents do when you were a little child
Which means that even if you are a full grown adult right now, you are still heavily under the influence of your parents
Whether you like it or not, they are still your heroes (even if you hate them and think they're failures) because you still operate out of their frame
Whether you like it or not, they are still your heroes (even if you hate them and think they're failures) because you still operate out of their frame
So how do you step out of your parents frame and into your own?
How do you "Kill your heroes"? (please don't kill your parents)
Well you need to do three things. I suggest you take some time to do this because it's very important and you'll need some time to progress things
How do you "Kill your heroes"? (please don't kill your parents)
Well you need to do three things. I suggest you take some time to do this because it's very important and you'll need some time to progress things
Step 1) Make two big lists. One list is for everything you remember your parents doing well. One list is for things you remember your parents doing badly.
One list is for all the things you are grateful for, the other for everything you still resent them for
One list is for all the things you are grateful for, the other for everything you still resent them for
These lists do not have to be logical or rational. If you still hold feelings of resentment over not getting that one piece of candy when you were 5, write it down
If you're grateful for the fact your alcoholic dad was almost never around, write it down
If you're grateful for the fact your alcoholic dad was almost never around, write it down
Step 2) Take your positive list. Go through it. Remember all these things vividly and really feel grateful for them. Mentally thank your parents for all these things
See which things you want to pass on to others around you. What behaviors you want to pass on to your kids
See which things you want to pass on to others around you. What behaviors you want to pass on to your kids
See what fond memories your parents gave you and think about how you can pass these on
See what good habits & behaviours your parents gave you and how you can enforce those even further
Really take some time for step 2
See what good habits & behaviours your parents gave you and how you can enforce those even further
Really take some time for step 2
Finally, step 3) This is the heavy part. Take the negative list. Go through it piece by piece.
For every point you wrote down, get back to the moment it happened.
Feel the negative emotions you felt back when it happened, and then forgive your parents for it.
For every point you wrote down, get back to the moment it happened.
Feel the negative emotions you felt back when it happened, and then forgive your parents for it.
Repeat this process for each point. Forgive your parents for all their weaknesses and flaws
You may not be able to do this in one session, especially if you had a bad childhood
This is a very emotional, but also very important process
You may not be able to do this in one session, especially if you had a bad childhood
This is a very emotional, but also very important process
By forgiving your parents you internalize deeply that they aren't the perfect heroes you thought they were when you were little
Every thing you forgive, is a piece of power you take away from them
Like telling them they can no longer influence how you live your life
Every thing you forgive, is a piece of power you take away from them
Like telling them they can no longer influence how you live your life
At the end of the negative list, after you've forgiven your parents for everything
You'll feel like a huge weight has been lifted from your shoulders
Like you are now free to explore everything you thought you couldn't as a child because your parents didn't approve of it
You'll feel like a huge weight has been lifted from your shoulders
Like you are now free to explore everything you thought you couldn't as a child because your parents didn't approve of it
You'll feel liberated. Like you have just been reborn as an adult, free to rule over your own destiny
If done right, this is a very powerful method, but it isn't something you can do in 30 mins
Making those lists alone can take weeks & the forgiving can take months
If done right, this is a very powerful method, but it isn't something you can do in 30 mins
Making those lists alone can take weeks & the forgiving can take months
At the end of the process you'll see why it was all worth it though
Suddenly following your own path will seem much easier
Like you can finally grow into your full potential
It's a lot of work, but can give you great results
Suddenly following your own path will seem much easier
Like you can finally grow into your full potential
It's a lot of work, but can give you great results
If you want to learn other methods of getting past mental blocks & growing into your full potential
I highly advise you to get Summoned or not, my work on how to take control of your mind
Get it here: https://gumroad.com/l/SumorNot
I highly advise you to get Summoned or not, my work on how to take control of your mind
Get it here: https://gumroad.com/l/SumorNot
PS If you go through this process of forgiveness, but you come across a memory that is just too painful to forgive. If at any stage in this process the emotions become too heavy to bear, stop doing it. Instead find professional help to get through this thing
Some memories are too heavy to work through by yourself. Perhaps a traumatizing event that you repressed and is now coming back up with a vengeance
Don't try to push your way through those alone. You could just further traumatize yourself.
Don't try to push your way through those alone. You could just further traumatize yourself.
