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What to say and what not to say to someone who's going through a mental breakdown ( a thread )
what to say :
1."Do you want to talk about it? I'm always here for you."
Even if you don't entirely understand what your friend is going through, you can still be there for them in a healthy, supportive way. Listen to them without judgment and make sure they know they're not alone. It's also-
Even if you don't entirely understand what your friend is going through, you can still be there for them in a healthy, supportive way. Listen to them without judgment and make sure they know they're not alone. It's also-
- important to let your loved one lead the conversation so you're able to talk about topics they feel comfortable discussing. "Follow and support rather than lead and advise," explains Sue.
2. "What can I do to help?"
If your loved one has had depression or anxiety for a while, they probably know what does and does not help them. Even if they just need help with something simple like laundry or grocery shopping, offering help lets them know you care.
If your loved one has had depression or anxiety for a while, they probably know what does and does not help them. Even if they just need help with something simple like laundry or grocery shopping, offering help lets them know you care.
3. "That sounds really difficult. How are you coping?"
Acknowledging how they feel is both validating and comforting. It reminds your friend that you are listening to them, that you believe that what they're going through is real, and that you want to help them cope.
Acknowledging how they feel is both validating and comforting. It reminds your friend that you are listening to them, that you believe that what they're going through is real, and that you want to help them cope.
4. "Let's go somewhere quiet or take a walk"
In times of extreme anxiety, it can help to try a grounding activity, like going for a walk or finding a peaceful place to talk. Grounding activities may be done alone or with another person and may include listening to music.
In times of extreme anxiety, it can help to try a grounding activity, like going for a walk or finding a peaceful place to talk. Grounding activities may be done alone or with another person and may include listening to music.
5. "I'm really sorry you're going through this. I'm here for you if you need me."
Remind them that their feelings are valid and that you want to support them.
Remind them that their feelings are valid and that you want to support them.
6. "Are you looking for my perspective or would you rather I listen?"
Clarify which type of support they would like and let them know that you will not judge them. If they want your insights, it's helpful to begin with something like "I don't know if this applies, but I'm-
Clarify which type of support they would like and let them know that you will not judge them. If they want your insights, it's helpful to begin with something like "I don't know if this applies, but I'm-
-wondering about…"
what NOT to say :
1. "I know what you mean. I had a panic attack when I saw my electrical bill!"
This attempt at relating to what your loved one is going through is kind-hearted, but also misguided. Relating their panic attacks to your anxiety about a regular expense misses the mark because it-
This attempt at relating to what your loved one is going through is kind-hearted, but also misguided. Relating their panic attacks to your anxiety about a regular expense misses the mark because it-
-implies that those two things are the same or of similar consequence and minimizes their pain. Even if you have an anxiety disorder, suggesting that they can just do what you did when you were anxious is stigmatizing.
2. "Have you tried yoga or meditation?"
One of the most pervasive misconceptions about mental health is that yoga, meditation, and other wellness trends can cure depression and other mental health conditions. While these practices are certainly a helpful supplement to treatment-
One of the most pervasive misconceptions about mental health is that yoga, meditation, and other wellness trends can cure depression and other mental health conditions. While these practices are certainly a helpful supplement to treatment-
for many people, only your friend knows if it is right for them. Sue recommends instead asking what options they see for themselves. If the person says they feel like they have no options, you can ask permission to share some ideas you've heard that may make sense to them.
3. "Why aren't you seeing a therapist?" or "Why aren't you on medication?"
While it's fine to show concern for a friend, remarks like these can come across as accusatory. Again, if the person says they feel like they have no options, you might say, "I always hear about therapy-
While it's fine to show concern for a friend, remarks like these can come across as accusatory. Again, if the person says they feel like they have no options, you might say, "I always hear about therapy-
-and medication, what are your thoughts on those?" Remember that this is a decision that is ultimately theirs to make.
4. "Are you OK?!"
This question can make your loved one feel pressured to get better immediately, which is rarely the case for mental health. They may also feel like they have to tell you they're fine, even if that is not true.
This question can make your loved one feel pressured to get better immediately, which is rarely the case for mental health. They may also feel like they have to tell you they're fine, even if that is not true.
5. "There are lots of people who have it much worse than you."
Remarks like this encourage your loved one to compare themselves to others. You should encourage them to let go of comparing themselves to others and instead focus on what's best for them.
Remarks like this encourage your loved one to compare themselves to others. You should encourage them to let go of comparing themselves to others and instead focus on what's best for them.
6. "You wouldn't feel this way if…"
Mental health issues and their causes are complex, and many people wear themselves out emotionally by searching for the causes of their suffering. Placing blame leads to unnecessary distress and takes time from increasing understanding of-
Mental health issues and their causes are complex, and many people wear themselves out emotionally by searching for the causes of their suffering. Placing blame leads to unnecessary distress and takes time from increasing understanding of-
-what is going on.
to sum up all the points that have been stated so far, you need to know what to say and what NOT to say to someone who's going through mental breakdown because they can be very sensitive to words. don't leave em alone and let em know that you'll be there for em.
end of thread 
