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Fascinating and kind of sad!!!!
‘...Compared with those who stay single, married folks are less likely to visit or call parents and siblings—and less inclined to offer them emotional support or pragmatic help with things such as chores and transportation. They are also less likely to hang out with friends...’
‘... Sarkisian and Gerstel wondered whether some of these effects could be explained by the demands of caring for small children...But once they examined the data further, they found that those who were married without children were the most isolated...’
‘... The researchers suggest that one potential explanation for this is that these couples tend to have more time and money—and thus need less help from family and friends, and are then less likely to offer it in return....’ YOUCH!
I’m seeing more and more of these articles.
And as someone who often thinks...’well, do I just have to find a partner and marry them because our society has evolved in such a way that community is dead, and it’s all about the nuclear family, and if you don’t have that one person you have no one?’ these articles resonate.
And I often follow up that thought with: ‘that’s no reason to do anything, is it...’
I often think about my communities and how I’m often made to feel a bit childish for hoping they’ll last into later life, and that the mature, adult response is ‘you have to get married.’
I often think about my communities and how I’m often made to feel a bit childish for hoping they’ll last into later life, and that the mature, adult response is ‘you have to get married.’
I just don’t see why we have to allow that to be true. I don’t know whether I have to go and live on a commune or something. But I welcome this questioning of the institution of marriage - not because I oppose it - but because of what it means for communities, wider families...
...and those of us who don’t see it as a part of our lives. The institution of marriage very much inflicts itself on the wider world, not just its supporters. Because marriage is seen as the end game, all other roads are systemically closed off and undervalued.
I often dream of a world where I live somewhere, know everyone else who lives there too, and there are community events, and we’re involved in one another’s lives. Basically...university or a retirement community. 
It’s probably why single/queer people love all these sci fi fantasy worlds where there are post apocalyptic communities or ‘found families’ because they promise an existence without the pressure of nuclear family. 
But these thoughts often seem...silly. Childish. And when I air them I’m looked at a bit like I’m tragic, and unlovable, and trying to make myself feel better about it. Maybe that’s true.
I also think even if that is true, I shouldn’t be expected to expect a sad, lonely life.
I also think even if that is true, I shouldn’t be expected to expect a sad, lonely life.
