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I don't wanna be the annoying know-it-all guy – everybody's journey is different – but I promised my younger self that I'd represent him into the future: I swear I swear I swear I saw this shit coming like a freight train when I was ~14 and nobody listened to me https://twitter.com/david_perell/status/1362264140526489602
a lot of what people like about me, say is cool, etc – is the result of stuff that I built in fear, desperation and anxiety when I saw everyone else marching to the beat of an invisible drummer I couldn't hear. it was agonizing. I don't say this much but I wanted to k*ll myself
I remember this so vividly I'm getting flashbacks now. I perpetually wanted to throw up. people told me I was being dramatic https://twitter.com/visakanv/status/1065508170091585536
I was so scared, so so scared all the time- I tried to play it cool & be a chill happy-go-lucky guy but I saw everyone around me just blindly, blithely cauterizing their spirits in exchange for meaningless trinkets just because everyone else was doing it https://twitter.com/visakanv/status/1065504305526923264
and there is absolutely no pleasure in being right about any of this – there is some relief in knowing I wasn't crazy, but it's heartbreaking to see all the suffering, knowing it was coming all along https://twitter.com/visakanv/status/1090161445717737472
and by the time people get around to realizing what they've done, the sunk costs seem so massive, and the experience of freedom feels so faint and distance, that many of them sort of just resign themselves to their miserable trajectories https://twitter.com/visakanv/status/1196386783337926656
wait quoted the wrong tweet lol but it's all related https://twitter.com/visakanv/status/1141043305007894528
gotta go meditate to flush the excess rage and despair and anguish out of my system so I can return to being a friendly cheerful helpful nerd
