I am humbled by all the support I've received as I've shared about my twin brother. Until now I have withheld the circumstances of his death, because it was profoundly incongruent with the rest of his life story.

CW: mental illness, suicidality, police violence

In early November he began to exhibit symptoms of severe mental illness. He became paranoid and delusional. We were able to get him help and he seemed to be more himself again, but a week before Christmas he had another mental health crisis.

He began expressing new delusions. He appeared to be responding to internal stimuli. For reasons we will never understand, he became determined to end his life. When my mother and her partner tried to stop him, he attacked them and was ultimately shot and killed by the police.

This was not the brother I knew. Even in his mental illness, his delusions were about trying to save others from imminent danger. He was kind, gentle, and compassionate. He was deeply empathetic. I never imagined he would harm anyone or himself. It wasn't who he was.

I share this painful ending to his story because mental illness is so taboo and stigmatized. I have learned in the past two months that many of my closest friends have experiences with severely mentally ill family members. I hope my sharing makes others feel less alone

I share because we are failing people with mental illness so profoundly. If the system could fail my brother and family with all of our privilege, it is absolutely broken. Advocacy is my coping mechanism, and this will be a new phase in my advocacy journey.

I love my brother. I am proud of him and the life he lived, the impact he had on others and the world. He was not his illness. If I can spare one family the pain we've been through it will be thanks to him.