The Me Too movement is great. Stories about resistance are great. But we have to be careful we don't let that cross over into a cultural expectation of survivors to wish / cause harm on their attackers.

Not everyone wants that and it's 1000% up to them. 1000%. Period.

There's the obvious reason: the retraumatisation caused by public scrutiny. But there's reasons we don't talk about.

Some people are harmed by those they love. And for some people, that love doesn't disappear in an instant. This can be one reason abuse is so hard to escape.

Some people don't get any joy in watching people pay for what they did. That's not to say it's wrong to enjoy watching justice be done. It's to say it's not wrong to NOT enjoy it. Everyone is actually different (shocker)

And I often see the argument that, well, it's not just about the initial survivor. They need to take the attacker down so they can't harm further victims.

Absolutely not. ABSOLUTELY not. The onus is NEVER on a survivor to stop further attacks. EVER.

Expecting someone to retraumatise themselves, or otherwise respond to their own attack in any way OTHER than how they feel is best for their own wellbeing at the time, is messed up.

The amount of times I got told "but you should've reported, he could've done it to other women".

I'm devastated at the thought this probably happened to other people, but I hold no guilt. 90% of the guilt I place on the attacker. 10% I place on the culture that supported him.

All this to say: don't assume people will react to an event the way you would, or did, react to an event.

People who are suffering are not your tools to change the world to protect others. How about you try to do your bit to change it, if you're not the one who's been harmed.