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I had a normal day today: shopping for the Aunt, driving up, sorting out her house, having lunch, driving back, sorting out my own house. Lucky to be able to travel beyond 5km etc. I’m pretty resilient but it’s getting to me. I’m no superwoman. The grind is relentless...
There's no relief for any of us whether caring for elderly, schooling kids etc. Yes, we're all in it together, we're all struggling in this together. We're a year into this now. Little did we think we'd be here 12 months later.
I had to ask a guy to put on a mask in the corner shop 20 minutes ago. I asked politely and he said 'sorry' and put one on. We're all fraying at the edges...it's exhausting, boring, worrying...
The Aunt, 92, gets her first jab on Saturday and her second in a month. Then we wait... This time last year there was no vaccine. Thanks to science we now have several. There is hope. It's just like walking in treacle, even for those of us who thought they were strong...
We've been putting 'one foot in front of the other' for a year: to save ourselves, our families, our neighbours, our friends. Well, most of us have. Our reserves are low. We are running on empty now.
My Aunt will be fully vaccinated in a month. I won't be and I've been in her 'bubble' for a year. Such is the process. We are not 'out of this yet', not by any stretch of imagination...
But we *will be*..there will be a tipping point sometime later this year. I'm finding it hard going to focus on that. I keep my eyes on a *daily* horizon: practical things to keep me (and the Aunt) going. It's bloody hard, as you know. It's all I can do.
I find it helpful to *reduce* your world to what you can practically do. Some things are not headline news: cleaning the bins, tidying the garden, window-cleaning. Hey, we gotta do what we gotta do :-)
II'm just as lost and discombobulated as you. Some days it is hard to get out of bed. Some days it is hard to clean out bins. But, you know what, cleaning out bins really helped today :-)
My daily mini-crises are nothing compared to those who have lost businesses or have them put on ice ( @pantibliss) but with bills mounting. It is horrendous for so many.
All we can do is plan to spend and rejuvenate these businesses when lockdown ends: pubs, shops, clubs, comedy venues etc. We all long for that day. We miss them, we miss the communal joy. Tonight the ache for that missing communal joy is in my heart. xx
