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How to Say No to Requests without Feeling Like a Jerk 
1. Be sincere (no flattery/bs).
2. Be direct.
3. Be kind.
4. If you can, point them in a helpful direction (article, Discord server). Don't refer a person w/o asking!
Let's unpack this in a thread.
1. Be sincere (no flattery/bs).
2. Be direct.
3. Be kind.
4. If you can, point them in a helpful direction (article, Discord server). Don't refer a person w/o asking!
Let's unpack this in a thread.
Let's say someone messaged you wanting to "pick your brain" about a technical problem. You are slammed at work and this has nothing to do with your priorities. Here's something you could say:
"Hey there, I appreciate you thinking of me, but I'm just not able to do this right now. [Another good phrase is, "I just don't have the capacity to take this on."] You might try asking in the Technology X Discord server; there are a lot of knowledgable folks on there!"
You're being sincere & kind by expressing appreciation. You're also being direct, but notice: you don't need to justify saying no! You don't need to prove to anyone (with a few key exceptions) that you don't have the time, capacity, or desire to do something.
You're also giving them an alternative option. Sometimes people just don't know where to go, so they fire off a message to you and hope you'll solve their problem.
Kind & helpful people often end up saying yes to everything (speaking from experience 
), but this
1. is a short road to burnout.
2. makes it hard to judge progress on your goals
To dig deeper into why we do this & how to improve, check out: https://www.samjulien.com/learning-to-say-no-to-things
), but this1. is a short road to burnout.
2. makes it hard to judge progress on your goals
To dig deeper into why we do this & how to improve, check out: https://www.samjulien.com/learning-to-say-no-to-things
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