I always enjoyed productivity advice... until I had kids.

I had two babies while working in a leadership role at a fast-growing startup.

Every time I heard advice to get up at 5am for an extra hour or read a book a week, I didn’t feel inspired.

I felt rage. A thread

Let's re-frame productivity & business advice so it’s not just for men without kids.

But first...

Most productivity hacks — with a few exceptions, like advice from @lvanderkam & the Lazy Genius — are offered by people who are not the default parent at home. /2

How would they apply that advice if their kid threw up everywhere on their way to work... 2 days in a row?

How would they get out of bed at 5am if they hadn’t gone back to bed after a 1am wake-up?

What if they had to dedicate 45 minutes of work time 3x/day to pumping milk? /3

The truth is, many strategies the Internet suggests aren’t possible while working & parenting young kids.

Yet here’s a shocker: many parents are ambitious, like we were before having kids.

We still have dreams to grow meaningful careers, build companies & write books. /4

Oh and: working parents aren’t a rare breed.

So here’s my advice for ambitious, career-loving parents of young children. /5

Ignore mainstream advice

Instead of being helpful, it might make you feel worse about how much you’re able to achieve.

You, my friend, do way more than the person who wrote that book, because you’re taking care of human beings AND inching forward on your projects. /6

Count managing your household as an achievement

I am the worst at this.

When I take stock of what I’ve achieved at the end of each day, I tend to look at my “paid” work.

But when I list out all the things I did to keep our family running, I achieved a TON. /7

Prioritize sleep

When mainstream productivity advice tells you to get enough sleep, they make the assumption that doing so is as simple as deciding to go to bed earlier rather than staying up late playing on social media. /8

But what if getting enough sleep means not doing all the other things that get-more-sleep strategy was supposed to help you achieve?

What if you have to choose between sleep and a shower?

I’m not making this stuff up; these are the realities for parents of young children. /9

Being up half the night & having to function the next day is REALLY HARD. Then many of us add a full-time job on top.

If you haven’t experienced this, it might sound like I’m exaggerating. But this is the experience of returning to work with a 3-month-old (normal in US). /10

If you find yourself in this position, prioritize sleep above all else, with zero guilt.

When you’re exhausted, it’s hard to make smart decisions.

You’re helping yourself out by sleeping first, even if that means accomplishing nothing else. /11

I had to give myself this pep talk for the first 18 months of my 2nd baby’s life.

I was working FT & my kid was getting up a few times every night. Every weekend, when we put our two kids down for a nap at 1pm, I got into bed.

I slept through every Sat & Sun afternoon. /12

I always wanted to use that time for something “productive,” since both kids were sleeping.

But the truth was, I was tired, and my body knew sleep had to come before everything else.

If you are at this stage, consider this your permission to sleep every second you can. /13

Remember this is temporary

That not-enough-sleep phase? It’s temporary.

I mean, it could be years-long temporary and feel like it lasts forever, but eventually it will get better. Really. /14

Consider interruptions to be constant, not deviations

While most life phases are temporary, here’s what’s not: you will never again work without interruptions.

Once you have children, things will almost never go as you planned, for better or for worse. /15

Once you start seeing that as the norm rather than a deviation, you will feel far less frustrated.

I’m telling you this because I believe it to be true, but I haven’t mastered it myself.

This is incredibly challenging for Type-A parents. /16

Find your people

Talk to other parents about how they manage the juggle.

Great strategies tend to be invisible bc we’re not comfortable talking about them (like hiring help).

Once you establish relationships with other ambitious parents, those walls will come down. /17

Look for online communities: Facebook groups, podcasts & @sarahkpeck's WWC.

You’re not alone! But it might feel like that when everyone’s tweeting about how they ran a half-marathon.

The real hero is the woman running in the park w/ her dog while pushing a double stroller./18

Look at what you’ve built

No, I don’t mean your work project.

I mean that little person you brought into the world and are turning into a meaningful member of society.

It feels good to build a company or a career, but it feels way more amazing to build a human. /19

Raising kids is important work, enriching work. So, too, is filling our own cup by growing a rewarding business or career.

If doing just those two things takes everything you’ve got, I’m with you. /20

Full post: https://alexisgrant.com/2020/02/06/productivity-for-parents/