"Women and femme-aligned Nonbinary people" is... not good. I 100% understand that queer language is difficult to maneuver in, but you really have to do your due diligence.

When a cis person uses "femme-aligned", you're drawing a line in the sand at what you consider "aligned".

If you, a nonbinary person, use "femme-aligned" and it works for you? That's great. Do you. I have not one qualm.

My issue is that the absence of solid language surrounding the nonbinary experience(s) is so incredibly based in the gender binary. It's so inaccurate.

Specifically surrounding "femme-aligned", what is regarded as femme in this situation? The way you think or feel? The way you physically present yourself? The safest assumption for a NBi person to make is that you mean AFAB, because cis people often do.

I'm not saying that it's always intentional. It often isnt. But again, there's a lack of language to accurately describe who you're actually looking to include or support. And those descriptors are mad triggering and dysphoric or a lot of NBi people.

It brings up a lot of issues as to how we're perceived and what specific values validate an NBi person as masc or femme to the world around them. An NBi person who does fit may feel like they're being treated as a woman. An NBi person who doesnt fit may feel inadequate.

"So what do we do?" I dont have perfect answers. This is new territory for us. I only have a recommendation.

Dont try and define NBi people with the same concepts that helpfully define binary cis and trans people. Let us do it ourselves while we find/create better language.