Read on Twitter
A THREAD OF TWITTER CLICHÉS
Yes, I have missed some, but there are over 100 of them so please check first. (A nod here to older readers of Language Log, who might call these snowclones, phrases that can be used and recognized in multiple variants http://itre.cis.upenn.edu/~myl/languagelog/archives/000350.html) 0/N
Yes, I have missed some, but there are over 100 of them so please check first. (A nod here to older readers of Language Log, who might call these snowclones, phrases that can be used and recognized in multiple variants http://itre.cis.upenn.edu/~myl/languagelog/archives/000350.html) 0/N
Delete your account
(older than Twitter) 1/N
(older than Twitter) 1/N
This aged well
{a tweet that probably did not age well, but might have} 2/N
{a tweet that probably did not age well, but might have} 2/N
This did not age well
{a tweet that definitely aged terribly} 3/N
{a tweet that definitely aged terribly} 3/N
I never would have thought [a sign of these insane times] but here we are
4/N
4/N
This is why we can't have nice things
{an unfortunate tweet} 5/N
{an unfortunate tweet} 5/N
Well, akshually...
6/N
6/N
Thoughts and prayers
(usually sarcastic) 7/N
(usually sarcastic) 7/N
Shot...
Chaser...
8/N
Chaser...
8/N
Wow, this blew up. I don't have a SoundCloud, but ...
9/N
9/N
Evergreen tweet
{an ageless remark} 10/N
{an ageless remark} 10/N
Underrated tweet
{a tweet in which the tweeter has perceived unrecognized value} 11/N
{a tweet in which the tweeter has perceived unrecognized value} 11/N
THIS
{a tweet of which the tweeter approves} 12/N
{a tweet of which the tweeter approves} 12/N
More of this, please
{a tweet of good behavior} 13/N
{a tweet of good behavior} 13/N
THREAD
{Said thread} 14/N
{Said thread} 14/N
[A hurried or poorly considered thought] Send tweet
15/N
15/N
Me: X
Also me: not X
(One of my favorites, often used for self-deprecation.)
16/N
Also me: not X
(One of my favorites, often used for self-deprecation.)
16/N
me:
them:
17/N
them:
17/N
No one:
Absolutely no one:
X: [something completely uncalled for]
18/N
Absolutely no one:
X: [something completely uncalled for]
18/N
F**k it: {a thread on something that has been eating away at tweeter}
19/N
19/N
I don't agree with X on everything, but...
20/N
20/N
I don't know who needs to hear this, but...
21/N
21/N
These two things can be true at the same time:
22/N
22/N
*opens Twitter*
sees X is trending
*closes Twitter*
23/N
sees X is trending
*closes Twitter*
23/N
Let me be clear...
24/N
24/N
... and I cannot stress this enough, ...
25/N
25/N
... and I'm just spitballing, here, ...
26/N
26/N
... *checks notes* ...
27/N
27/N
It's almost as if—and bear with me, here—[some obvious fact]
28/N
28/N
What if I told you [familiar fact]
29/N
29/N
*psssst* [obvious fact]
30/N
30/N
Here for the ratio
31/N
31/N
Your periodic reminder that [something older than Twitter's attention span]
32/N
32/N
[Statement] Pass it on
33/N
33/N
I was today years old when I learned ...
34/N
34/N
Siri/Alexa, what is ...
Siri/Alexa, show me ...
etc.
35/N
Siri/Alexa, show me ...
etc.
35/N
Bye Felicia
36/N
36/N
A 
sentence made louder by inserting claps
37/N
sentence made louder by inserting claps 37/N
I'm just going to leave this right here...
38/N
38/N
Some of you have never [relevant experience] and it shows
39/N
39/N
This website is free
{usually a bad person getting pwned} 40/N
{usually a bad person getting pwned} 40/N
[Short statement.] That's it. That's the tweet.
41/N
41/N
Find someone who looks at you the way X looks at Y
42/N
42/N
{Insane rant or threat} Sir, this is a Wendy's
43/N
43/N
{An unfortunate tweet by Alex}
Alex
44/N
Alex
44/N
I'm old enough to remember [something both recent yet contra present-day conventional wisdom]
45/N
45/N
Gotta admit X makes a good point here
{usually an embarrassing quote from X} 46/N
{usually an embarrassing quote from X} 46/N
Oh good, [disparaging nickname] has logged on
47/N
47/N
You seem nice
{typically a screenshot of abuse} 48/N
{typically a screenshot of abuse} 48/N
You misspelled [a recharacterization of someone's words]
49/N
49/N
I'm no expert, but this seems bad
{something plainly horrific} 50/N
{something plainly horrific} 50/N
Okay, I'll bite. What is X?
51/N
51/N
RT if you agree with X
Raise your hand if you agree with Y
52/N
Raise your hand if you agree with Y
52/N
[Question about an image or video] Wrong answers only
53/N
53/N
He..he just *tweeted it out*
Is...is that—
Did...did he just—
(The double start intensifying the tweeter's astonishment) 54/N
Is...is that—
Did...did he just—
(The double start intensifying the tweeter's astonishment) 54/N
X is the Y of Zs
55/N
55/N
X showing his whole ass, here
56/N
56/N
X saying the quiet part out loud, here
57/N
57/N
Unpopular opinion:
58/N
58/N
You hate to see it
59/N
59/N
Saying it louder for the people in the back: [commences SHOUTING]
60/N
60/N
Sure sex is great, but have you ever ...
61/N
61/N
In this house we [statement]
62/N
62/N
[dramatic stat or fact] Let that sink in
63/N
63/N
Nature is healing
64/N
64/N
Inject this directly into my veins
{occasionally something good happening to a good person, but usually something bad happening to a bad person} 65/N
{occasionally something good happening to a good person, but usually something bad happening to a bad person} 65/N
Wait what
{an unexpected development} 66/N
{an unexpected development} 66/N
wut
67/N
67/N
bot
68/N
68/N
Big, if true
69/N
69/N
Beyond parody
70/N
70/N
aN oVEruSeD MoRonIc SloGaN
71/N
71/N
Same energy
{two things perceived as similar} 72/N
{two things perceived as similar} 72/N
How it started: [pic] How it's going: [alt pic]
73/N
73/N
Okay, who had [ridiculous news] on their 2020 bingo card?
74/N
74/N
Nods in historian/nurse practitioner/lawyer...
Coughs in economist
Cries in epidemiologist
Harrumphs in engineer
...
75/N
Coughs in economist
Cries in epidemiologist
Harrumphs in engineer
...
75/N
Sorry not sorry X
76/N
76/N
This you?
{Tweet revealing contradiction and/or hypocrisy} 77/N
{Tweet revealing contradiction and/or hypocrisy} 77/N
Am I doing this right?
78/N
78/N
Good work everybody
79/N
79/N
Reported and blocked
{Heretical tweet} 80/N
{Heretical tweet} 80/N
rocket
(this is niche to space Twitter) 81/N
(this is niche to space Twitter) 81/N
That's a bus. You've invented a bus.
That's a subway. You've invented a subway.
(this is niche to trolling Elon Musk) 83/N
That's a subway. You've invented a subway.
(this is niche to trolling Elon Musk) 83/N
X doing Y is a whole mood
X doing Y is a whole vibe
84/N
X doing Y is a whole vibe
84/N
Narrator: It was, in fact, not X
{tweet claiming X} 85/N
{tweet claiming X} 85/N
[Pointed question for elected officials] Asking for 81 million friends
86/N
86/N
[Question with an uncomfortable answer] I'll wait
87/N
87/N
Said no one ever
{ridiculous statement by polarizing figure} 88/N
{ridiculous statement by polarizing figure} 88/N
It’s only an X if it comes from the X region of France, otherwise, it’s just a sparkling Y
89/N
89/N
Good morning to everyone except X
Good morning to X and to X only
90/N
Good morning to X and to X only
90/N
X having a normal one
{tweet of aberrant behavior} 91/N
{tweet of aberrant behavior} 91/N
Timeline cleanser: [pics of cuteness, pets, babies...]
92/N
92/N
{Disputed OR settled statement}
This claim is disputed by official sources
93/N
This claim is disputed by official sources
93/N
Am I X? No. But do I Y? No. But have I Z? Also no.
94/N
94/N
Happy X Day to those who celebrate
95/N
95/N
What's something that feels like X but is not really X?
96/N
96/N
Tell me you're an X without telling me you're an X
97/N
97/N
Unbelievable {replying to} Amazing {replying to} Outstanding {and so on until you discover it originated on *nothing*}
98/N
98/N
{insane Trump tweet}
Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States
99/N
Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States
99/N
Just took a nap/flight/shower/etc. What did I miss?
100/N
100/N
What fresh hell is this?
(Dorothy Parker would have killed it on Twitter) 101/N
(Dorothy Parker would have killed it on Twitter) 101/N
Many people are saying
102/N
102/N
Not the Onion
{Trump-related headline} 103/N
{Trump-related headline} 103/N
Can you imagine if Obama [did what Trump just did]?
104/N
104/N
Womp womp
105/N
105/N
X is about to go through some things
106/N
106/N
Person Woman Man Camera TV
(plus too many variations to count) 107/N
(plus too many variations to count) 107/N
[Emphatic statement] Period.
108/N
108/N
SAD!
109/N
109/N
(Those last 11 were quite Trumpworld specific.)
That's the list as of Feb 17, 2021. I am on here irregularly but will add your favorite Twitter cliché that I forgot when I can. 109.5/N
That's the list as of Feb 17, 2021. I am on here irregularly but will add your favorite Twitter cliché that I forgot when I can. 109.5/N
A meta-category is tweets packed with multiple clichés. One example, from @PreetBharara
https://twitter.com/PreetBharara/status/1333969635025317889?s=20
Another recent example, from @AJemaineClement https://twitter.com/AJemaineClement/status/1361774279977697281?s=20
https://twitter.com/PreetBharara/status/1333969635025317889?s=20
Another recent example, from @AJemaineClement https://twitter.com/AJemaineClement/status/1361774279977697281?s=20
Fixed it for you
(I can't believe I forgot this one the first time round.) 110/N
(I can't believe I forgot this one the first time round.) 110/N
*record scratch*
*freeze frame*
Yep, that's me. You're probably wondering how I ended up in this situation...
(h/t @letsgo2press, this is a good one!)
*freeze frame*
Yep, that's me. You're probably wondering how I ended up in this situation...
(h/t @letsgo2press, this is a good one!)
MOOD
{image or text that can be interpreted as expressing a feeling}
(and its variant "big mood." h/t @Persian_Slipper)
{image or text that can be interpreted as expressing a feeling}
(and its variant "big mood." h/t @Persian_Slipper)
Short and sweet
(h/t @NikkiNorker, and well played)
I've been forgetting to number these additions, we are at... 114/N
(h/t @NikkiNorker, and well played)
I've been forgetting to number these additions, we are at... 114/N
Your/you're
There/their/they're
Its/It's
properly inserted hyphens
...
(Mortified I forgot this category. These are quintessential grammatical dunks, most often used to put trolls in their place, and no Twitter user should leave home without them. h/t @Bacon4Spinner) 116/N
There/their/they're
Its/It's
properly inserted hyphens
...
(Mortified I forgot this category. These are quintessential grammatical dunks, most often used to put trolls in their place, and no Twitter user should leave home without them. h/t @Bacon4Spinner) 116/N
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means
(Forgetting this one feels like a felony. Thank you again, @CTrevorNelson) 118/N
(Forgetting this one feels like a felony. Thank you again, @CTrevorNelson) 118/N
RT if you remember ...
(A simple one that I forgot but which @Marktech remembered. A cry into the void for confirmation) 123/N
(A simple one that I forgot but which @Marktech remembered. A cry into the void for confirmation) 123/N
True dat
{An approved tweet}
(h/t @cobalt123. No, I don't know how I could have missed this one, either, but just wait until you see what else I forgot...) 124/N
{An approved tweet}
(h/t @cobalt123. No, I don't know how I could have missed this one, either, but just wait until you see what else I forgot...) 124/N
I, for one, welcome our new X overlords
{A frightening nature or robotics discovery}
(h/t @koko_the_tbone for this one) 126/N
{A frightening nature or robotics discovery}
(h/t @koko_the_tbone for this one) 126/N
TFW ...
{Too many tweet varieties to pick from}
(Yes, I missed this. A big one. Thankfully, @Uliaison remembered it) 127/N
{Too many tweet varieties to pick from}
(Yes, I missed this. A big one. Thankfully, @Uliaison remembered it) 127/N
ICYMI
FWIW
TL/DR
WDIDTDT
SNTBD
...
(I felt TFW deserved its own category, but these are well taken and well grouped and saved from oblivion by @iainmacwhirter) 128/N
FWIW
TL/DR
WDIDTDT
SNTBD
...
(I felt TFW deserved its own category, but these are well taken and well grouped and saved from oblivion by @iainmacwhirter) 128/N
{rant} or {thread} or {one tweet explanation}
Thank you for coming to my TED Talk
(I sat in silence for 5 straight seconds when confronted by @stwaldo with my failure to remember this one) 129/N
@stwaldo
Thank you for coming to my TED Talk
(I sat in silence for 5 straight seconds when confronted by @stwaldo with my failure to remember this one) 129/N
@stwaldo
Dying
Crying
Weeping
Absolutely losing my mind
{Exceptionally funny tweet}
(Yet another great catch by @mrs_fredo) 132/N
Crying
Weeping
Absolutely losing my mind
{Exceptionally funny tweet}
(Yet another great catch by @mrs_fredo) 132/N
Life comes at you fast
{Before tweet} {After tweet, usually expressing the opposite sentiment}
(Thanks to @DavidJKupstas) 139/N
{Before tweet} {After tweet, usually expressing the opposite sentiment}
(Thanks to @DavidJKupstas) 139/N
{video of bad behavior}
{image of bad person}
OR
{A one-in-a-million-shot request for help from the Twitterverse to solve some problem}
Twitter, do your thing
(A powerful tweet. With big reservations against doxxing, this is nonetheless a classic. h/t @DavidJKupstas) 140/N
{image of bad person}
OR
{A one-in-a-million-shot request for help from the Twitterverse to solve some problem}
Twitter, do your thing
(A powerful tweet. With big reservations against doxxing, this is nonetheless a classic. h/t @DavidJKupstas) 140/N
Achievement unlocked
(Such as having actual lexicographers see this thread) 141/N
(Such as having actual lexicographers see this thread) 141/N
Truth
{tweet containing said truth}
(I forgot to include this with "true dat" above. h/t @katiebirdaz) 143/N
{tweet containing said truth}
(I forgot to include this with "true dat" above. h/t @katiebirdaz) 143/N
Did ye, aye?
State of this.....
Get tae.
(This is to hint at the beauty of Scottish Twitter, which I must look into. These teasers are thanks to @speyquine) 145/N
State of this.....
Get tae.
(This is to hint at the beauty of Scottish Twitter, which I must look into. These teasers are thanks to @speyquine) 145/N
*sips coffee*
+ variations
{A signifier of some reversal of fortune}
(A HUGE tweet that Schadenfreude Twitter keeps at the ready. h/t @Axle_Tree) 146/N
+ variations
{A signifier of some reversal of fortune}
(A HUGE tweet that Schadenfreude Twitter keeps at the ready. h/t @Axle_Tree) 146/N
Folks, he's running
{A positioning or repositioning tweet by a potential candidate}
(h/t @daiconrad) 147/N
{A positioning or repositioning tweet by a potential candidate}
(h/t @daiconrad) 147/N
