I recently got ghosted by someone after seeing them for a few months.

Honestly, I am still a little shook that people are capable of ghosting after 2+ months of being close with someone. Maybe I'm old fashioned. Welcome to modern dating! As an anxious person. Lol
#Thread

It was an intense emotional rollercoaster, to the point where I spiraled a bit. Not fun.
Anyways, I wrote down what I learnt, mostly to cope with it - I hope it helps someone out there.

Not that I am that nice but speaking about things also helps me heal. So help me help you.

1. Don't get invested too early. 

With apps, these days you can safely assume people are always looking out for options. In my case, even after months of dating, they were apparently still keeping their options open. Unfortunately this is the reality in modern dating.

2. Discuss intentions early on. 

They might still be Bullshitting you, but if it turns out that way, it's a clear red flag.

Don't do too many video dates (or avoid it entirely).

Nothing replaces physical presence in dating. You may have amazing chemistry through Facetiming and all, but if you don't click physically, everything goes out the window. I wasted a LOT of time on this.

3. If they consistently take a while to respond (12+ hours)

and give unenthusiastic answers, they're most likely losing interest. At this point, you can either accept it and move on, or be open with them and talk about it. Either way, it's a sign that you should do something about it.

If they ghost, it is a reflection of themselves more than a reflection of what you did. Think of it this way.

Your insecurities might say "you fucked up", they don't like you because of what you said (or whatever excuse you tell yourself).

But in reality, 99% of the time they did this because they have their own insecurities/issues and are projecting that on to you to avoid confrontation because they do not know how to project their feelings which isn't good in a long term relationship.

They don't respect you enough to tell you whats up. Would you want to date someone who puts you beneath them or who shuts you out without even giving you a chance to disappoint them if you even would.

4. Observe what they do, not what they say.

If they promise the world but treat you like shit, pay Attention!!! For example, do they say "hey let's hang out" but never find time for it. Don't believe it. People will make time for you if you are important to them.

Always act chill and be respectful. Lashing out is never. One thing you can do is write a draft of what you'd say, wait a bit, then read it out before sending it. Similar to the idea that you should never send an angry email at work - you'll always regret it.

Finally, there's a high chance that you'll read this, nod in agreement and still go ahead to make the same mistakes I did(Goodluck with that) But I hope that at least being aware of this helps someone in the future. Thanks for reading.