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I'm all for accountability and boundaries. But, imagine with me for a moment the Billy Graham Rule when you are the first female pastor in a congregation and all the elders are men.
It's time to go to the regional denominational meeting. The church tradition is that pastor and elder ride in the car together to the meeting as a way of preparing for the meeting, and also debriefing together afterwards.
This has been church tradition for decades. Suddenly, this can't happen. You take separate cars to the meeting.
This may not seem like a big deal until you arrive at the meeting and every other pastor/elder from every other church rode in cars together.
This may not seem like a big deal until you arrive at the meeting and every other pastor/elder from every other church rode in cars together.
After that experience, female pastor receives a phone call that a dear parishioner is in the hospital and would like to be visited. Parishioner is a single male, about the same age as the pastor.
Does she go visit even though they will be alone together in the room?
Does she go visit even though they will be alone together in the room?
It comes time to visit homebound members. Pastor goes to visit every homebound single woman and every homebound couple.
What about the elderly man who lives by himself?
What about the elderly man who lives by himself?
The local seminary calls and asks if your church would serve as an internship placement for a seminary student. You agree. Student you are assigned is male. Do you mentor him, knowing you will have to debrief his sermons with him?
In many of these situations, if you flipped the sexes of the people, there'd be no problem. Do people get worried when a male pastor visits a female parishioner who lives alone? Do people get concerned when he makes a hospital call?
Usually no. So, what becomes the problem in the situations I posed above?
The problem is the presence of a woman in leadership. Do we automatically assume the woman will tempt someone into a bad situation?
The problem is the presence of a woman in leadership. Do we automatically assume the woman will tempt someone into a bad situation?
Folks ask me, "So, what do I do? I believe in accountability and you are telling me the BGR doesn't work. Now what?"
This is where I point to the important work @rdixondis is doing on his flourishing models of mutuality in working relationships.
This is where I point to the important work @rdixondis is doing on his flourishing models of mutuality in working relationships.
