I want to take a stab at engaging with those that don't understand why the "as a father" preface is so offensive.

This isn't an attack, but a genuine attempt to explain.

A short thread:

So why is this infuriating? On the face of it it seems like an innocuous attempt at offering empathy, but beyond the thin layer of good intentions lies a pretty sinister qualification.

There are plenty of aspects to the female lived experience that as a man I didn't understand until a female or females took the time to explain to me. I'm sure there remain plenty more.

The many safety considerations women have that I don't, the nuances of work place issues.

These are all examples of things I can learn from engaging with the women in my life.

It is reasonable to expect that my understanding of a concept could be altered after speaking to these women and seeing things from their unique perspective.

But this is not what is being said when people refer to their young daughters as evidence on enlightenment, they are not suggesting their daughters have shared a new insight with them, they are saying their understanding has changed because it now affects them directly.

Having a daughter doesn't make you more aware of misogyny, but it can make you suddenly care about it.

A prebuscent girl can offer very little insight into rape culture, but she can suddenly make rape culture something her father fears.

The issue is, rape culture, sexual harassment, and misogyny existed before you had a daughter and it exists regardless of your parentage.

It implies that your view on misogyny wasn't restrained by your understanding of the issue, but by whether or not you sufficiently cared about its impact.

This is understandably a rather large slap in the face for the women you are not related to.

If a woman in your life improves your understanding of an issue then by all means never be afraid to say so, but merely possessing a female familial relation only reveals how the issue affects you directly.

So next time you say "as a father", be prepared to elaborate on what your child taught you that you couldn't have known before.