Read on Twitter
a good thing to think about in online conversations about “let people say (x)” and “let people do (y)” is... who do you think is stopping people from doing and saying X and Y? what do you want people to stop doing, or else to do?
is the behavior you’re looking to change ‘someone in particular that you saw vaguetweeting about something’? are you concerned that someone might, in the future, vaguetweet, or directly reply, to your statement or demonstration of (x) speech or (y) action?
obviously, if you’re getting catharsis from tweeting ‘let people brûlée figs, EVEN IF IT TASTES LIKE BUTANE, some people like that!’ by all means, seek catharsis, but... it’s helpful to examine your actions afterwards to verify that you’re actually Getting the catharsis you want.
I think a lot about whether the things I am posting and saying are helping me feel better, or else eliciting some other desired outcome, or if they might be making me feel worse/courting unpleasant and undesirable outcomes.
Really, though, who do you envision stopping you from posting/saying/doing (x), and why does their opinion matter to you? Is it because their disapproval of your fig-brûléeing makes it harder for you to enjoy brûléeing figs? If so, that is usually easier to correct at the source.
Which is to say: cultivate a resistance to criticism of fig brûléeing rather than attempting to reshape the opinions of every other person on earth who might potentially disapprove of your benign culinary practice.
Even if you do deeply want to go the public-opinion route, I don’t think “let people enjoy x” posts have ever contributed much to that. Are you looking to court allies in the fig brûléeing community? A better way to do that might be posting about how much you love fig brûléeing.
Who is threatening to take our opinions away from us? How do they plan to do so? Why do we feel vulnerable to opinion-delegitimization, and how can we maintain conviction in our own beliefs, even with the knowledge that people might impugn us for them?
‘Having good and correct opinions’, or at least sincerely believing you do, really helps with this. If I am right, I have nothing to fear from criticism.
If I sincerely enjoy brûléed figs, my ability to do so is not under threat by those who don’t, or those who don’t understand my enjoyment. I don’t enjoy brûléed figs as public theater; the audience can’t boo me down from my plate full of caramelized fruits in my own home.
I also believe adamantly that my brûléed figs are not harming anyone, but someone could contest that - if my figs are terrible for native pollinators, if I’m sourcing them unethically, if child laborers are filling my brûlée torch with butane. But like, I want to know that?
I don’t ever want to discourage criticism of my conduct, if it is harming someone. If a dear friend’s beloved opossum was tragically injured in a fig brûléeing accident, I want to know that, too, so I can be mindful of how I talk about fig brûléeing around them.
I just don’t think the ‘leave me alone and let me enjoy my (x)’ posts are pretty much ever accomplishing what they’re intended to do, even when it’s truly something harmless and enjoyable about which you’re performing defensiveness.
The people who care ardently about (x), for legitimate or spurious reasons, will do whatever they were going to do, and the declaration has put you in a position to defend something important to you, which, if you’re making this sort of post, you probably don’t enjoy.
But back to the overarching thought: who has the power to take your enjoyment away from you? Are you scared of finding out that your brûléed figs are unethical, of a stranger’s disapproval?
Are you scared that one of your friends will object to brûléed figs, and that you won’t have the words to defend them? I think these things are more effectively litigated in private, whether between friends or on one’s own.
Just thoughts, of course. But thoughts that have served me pretty well with my own affairs, and could be helpful for someone else considering their own modes of engagement with, like, Twitter and such. HStwitter or anything else.
Blocking/muting people isn’t a perfectly effective option, but it’ll engineer a much more habitable online environment than actively courting the controversy you’re already aware that you don’t enjoy without even doing something fun (talking about your interest!) in the process.
