Some Tips for Discussing Difficult Subjects:

1) If you're in the kind of discussion where it's important to get someone to think critically about their beliefs... Don't begin by dismissing the belief.

This leaves the person with no reason to engage in good faith.

2) Make sure to take time to define unfamiliar words or concepts if necessary.

There's no use making a good argument if the person you're talking to doesn't understand what you're saying.

3) Ask yourself what it would take for you to critically examine YOUR position.

Try to poke holes in your theory.

Acknowledge it if the person you're talking to manages to do so.

It's more important to be accurate than "right"

4) Begin discussion with the presumption that the person you're talking to believes what they're saying for a reason*, even if you have no clue what that reason is.

If you have the opportunity, ask. It's better than presuming or telling.

*Excludes obvious trolls.

5) Ask a person if there's anything you can do to make communication easier for them.

Not only does this lay a groundwork of mutual respect for a difficult discourse, but it also allows people to explain accommodations they may need "Stay on my left, I don't hear on my right"

6) Never bring someone's intelligence into it.

It isn't helpful, and whatever critique you were really aiming for, you'll not only miss, but you'll also shut that person down, giving them no reason to operate in good faith.

7) Don't try to change people's minds. It's almost always received as a hostile act.

Instead, share information with them. Challenge them to question their presumptions. Stand firm with regard to provable facts. Explain your own journey to your belief.

8) Remember that you weren't born knowing what you know or believing what you believe.

You came about it through a particular assortment of teachers, resources and experiences.

Realize that a different assortment will often lead to different conclusions.

9) Don't presume that because someone is lacking in knowledge or understanding in one area, that they are also lacking in specific others.

Conversely, don't make the same presumption about possession of knowledge.

Address what people put before you, not what they didn't.

10) If discussion gets harmful, to either party. Walk away.

Continuing further closes people off from hearing each other, breaks down any trust that may have been built and hardens prejudices.

Ultimately we are emotional creatures. Even those of us who try to pretend we aren't.

What we can and cannot "logically" accept is highly dependent on what we can emotionally accept.

We will outright refuse to accept logic if the emotional cost is too high.

If you lower people's emotional cost to exploring outside their comfort zone, then they will be more likely to do so.

But people crave safety. And familiarity is safety. And change threatens familiarity.

We often approach discussion by starting with the change.

And fail.

What a person hears is influenced by what they expected to hear. And people are prepared to respond automatically to what they expect to hear.

So it's important to avoid that initial pitfall of just falling into a cliche discourse pattern that is just script-reading.

When you begin by insisting upon their wrongness and your rightness they hear:

"You're wrong blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah. [EASILY REFUTED MISCONCEPTION] Blah blah blah. Blah."

And they respond with "Your misconception is wrong. Blah blah blah blah...."

Nobody listens

It's not your job to change anyone's mind.

Not just because it's absurd to think that you have the right to change what's in someone else's skull, but because you CAN'T.

All you can do is offer people resources they may use to change their own minds.

That's how it works.