Nathan is right. I am genuinely worried about how a lot of bourgeois people think of therapy as a luxury product, like cool new sneakers or an exclusive gym membership, and that it's a place you just show up, like a hot club.

It's hard work and it works on no one's timeline. https://twitter.com/nthnashma/status/1361612581203550210

Even if a partner seeks therapy, you have to know that good therapy is an unpredictable process. Often people get "worse" before they get better, and you should like the person BEFORE therapy, not find them unacceptable and be waiting for some upgraded luxury version.

Good therapy - the kind with a therapist who is a true guide -- also requires a lot of hard work, the inevitable addressing of trauma, and the results are unpredictable. A partner may, over the course of therapy, decide you're not the one for them. It's not a controllable process

I've tweeted this before, as have many others, but: Snapping "go to therapy" at someone is deeply disrespectful. There are ways to set boundaries for how you want to be treated without controlling someone else's mental health.

If you are interested in therapy, here are some ways to start. Please note 1) it can take a few tries to find someone you mesh with 2) therapy is hard work and you should be doing that work outside of office hours 3) going to therapy is not a personality. https://twitter.com/moorehn/status/1340334745067118593

Additionally, you can and should raise self-awareness and find support beyond individual therapy. Support groups are a wonderful way to address specific challenges, because then you don't feel alone. There are a lot of good books, written by therapists, that spark introspection.

Working on yourself doesn't need a price tag. A good therapist is a guide -- they don't do the mental health work for you. You have to show up and be curious and want to change.

Even then, a lot of subconscious behaviors take work+ time to identify and heal. It's abt healing.

There are also things that help support trauma healing. One thing is literally shaking it off -- moving your body can work out trauma because trauma is a physical signal. Music, art are also modes that can help healing. Taking a walk with someone helps you sync to others.

This is a great point too. Going to therapy, or having gone to therapy, is not a reason for feeling superior to others. It's an individual process and not everyone is traveling the same road. https://twitter.com/blackbess_/status/1361694634532036611?s=20

It's fine to *suggest* that therapy might be helpful. Especially for people who have experienced deep harm -like trauma bonds with narcissists -therapy focused on attachment theory and Internal Family Systems can be key to liberation from the need to attach to harmful ppl.

But frankly I've spoken to a lot of people who have been in therapy for years and seen no big changes in their life. It depends on a lot of things --a good therapist, the willingness to work, events that force self-realization. It's nothing to brag about. It's just work to do.