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I recently finished “How To Talk To Anyone” by Leil Lowndes.
It's probably the best social skills book I've read since "How To Win Friends & Influence People" by Dale Carnegie.
Here are my top 10 favorite lessons from the book:
(thread)
It's probably the best social skills book I've read since "How To Win Friends & Influence People" by Dale Carnegie.
Here are my top 10 favorite lessons from the book:
(thread)
1) Accentuate The Positive & Eliminate The Negative
When first meeting someone, keep the conversation positive & don't reveal your shortcomings (AKA keep your skeletons in your closet).
You can always talk and have a good laugh about the skeletons later in your relationship.
When first meeting someone, keep the conversation positive & don't reveal your shortcomings (AKA keep your skeletons in your closet).
You can always talk and have a good laugh about the skeletons later in your relationship.
2) Kill The Quick "Me, Too!"
Whenever you have something in common with someone, don't interrupt with a quick "Me, too!"
You'll kill their flow.
Instead, wait for them to finish speaking before revealing your shared interest. The person will be more moved & impressed by you.
Whenever you have something in common with someone, don't interrupt with a quick "Me, too!"
You'll kill their flow.
Instead, wait for them to finish speaking before revealing your shared interest. The person will be more moved & impressed by you.
3) Never The Naked "Thank You"
Never let the phrase "thank you" stand alone.
Instead, be specific:
• Thank you for being such a good customer
• Thank you for your help on the project
By being specific, your thank you will have a much bigger impact on the person.
Never let the phrase "thank you" stand alone.
Instead, be specific:
• Thank you for being such a good customer
• Thank you for your help on the project
By being specific, your thank you will have a much bigger impact on the person.
4) Employ Empathizers
When agreeing with someone in a conversation, STOP saying:
• Yep
• Yeah
• Uh-huh
Instead, vocalize complete sentences:
• I see what you mean
• I totally agree with you
• That sounds wonderful
When agreeing with someone in a conversation, STOP saying:
• Yep
• Yeah
• Uh-huh
Instead, vocalize complete sentences:
• I see what you mean
• I totally agree with you
• That sounds wonderful
5) Use The Premature We
To create the sensation of intimacy with someone you've just met, use words that bond you two together such as:
• We
• Us
• Our
These words foster togetherness and make the listener feel connected.
To create the sensation of intimacy with someone you've just met, use words that bond you two together such as:
• We
• Us
• Our
These words foster togetherness and make the listener feel connected.
6) Give A Killer Compliment
When giving a compliment, the more specific you make it, the more powerful it becomes.
Instead of saying:
• You look nice
• I like your tie
Say:
• You have beautiful green eyes
• That tie matches really well with your suit
When giving a compliment, the more specific you make it, the more powerful it becomes.
Instead of saying:
• You look nice
• I like your tie
Say:
• You have beautiful green eyes
• That tie matches really well with your suit
7) How To Make People Want To Compliment You
When someone sends a compliment your way, don't shoot them down. Instead, reward them with some kind words.
Don't say:
• This old thing?
• It's whatever
Say:
• Thank you for noticing
• That's very kind of you
When someone sends a compliment your way, don't shoot them down. Instead, reward them with some kind words.
Don't say:
• This old thing?
• It's whatever
Say:
• Thank you for noticing
• That's very kind of you
8) Salute The Secretary
Anybody who is close enough to answer the phone or email of a VIP, has the power to say their opinion of you.
Whenever you're talking to someone connected to a VIP, treat them with kindness and respect.
Anybody who is close enough to answer the phone or email of a VIP, has the power to say their opinion of you.
Whenever you're talking to someone connected to a VIP, treat them with kindness and respect.
9) See No Bloopers, Hear No Bloopers
Nobody is perfect. When you see someone make a blooper, don't draw more attention to them. They're already embarrassed.
Perhaps they spilled their cup or have the hiccups, don't call them out and put them on the spot.
Nobody is perfect. When you see someone make a blooper, don't draw more attention to them. They're already embarrassed.
Perhaps they spilled their cup or have the hiccups, don't call them out and put them on the spot.
10) Track The Tiny Details
Keep a journal or notes on your phone with tiny but important details about everyone you meet.
It could be their pet's name or their favorite hobby. By remembering tiny details about them, you'll make them feel special and important.
Keep a journal or notes on your phone with tiny but important details about everyone you meet.
It could be their pet's name or their favorite hobby. By remembering tiny details about them, you'll make them feel special and important.
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