Thread by @ItIsJoshBro, also post apoc au idea, wilbur goes to a graveyard to visit [...]

also post apoc au idea, wilbur goes to a graveyard to visit his little brother (tommy) who he couldn't save, and meets techno, whos started to go to the same graveyard to visit HIS little brother (ranboo) who he couldn't save. they bond :)

they don't talk at first, they just acknowledge each other. one day, techno looks over at wilbur and asks about who he lost. "his name was tommy," wilbur says. "he was really fucking stupid and brave and he's the only reason i'm still alive. what about you? who'd you lose?"

"his name was ranboo," techno tells him. "he wasn't my blood brother, he just sort of found me. i promised that i'd keep him safe no matter what and then i couldn't, and i can't stop comin' out here and tryin' to figure out how to stop wantin' to hate myself."

"it doesn't stop. the hating yourself, that doesn't stop. you should have protected them, you should have done better. it never stops. you just learn to live with it a little better the more time goes on. it was nice meeting you. let's agree to never do this again. just in case."

"i don't think i want to be alone again. how about we just never tell each other our names? it's safer like that. you can't get attached so long as you don't know anythin' about them, right? i don't want to be alone again. i don't think that you do, either. unless i'm wrong."

"you're not. i wish you were, but you're not. okay. you can call me songbird. that's a safe enough name, isn't it? that's safe. it's not close to my actual name. i'm going to go. i'll see you tomorrow.."

"just call me...i dunno, king, or somethin'. bye, songbird."

"bye, king."

they come back every day, and it's the same greeting each time.

"hey, songbird."

"hey, king. how're you?"

"pretty shit. you?"

wilbur smiles. "same thing here. how's ranboo?"

"dead. how's tommy?"

"dead. same as usual."

"it's a lot more difficult than i thought. losing someone, i mean. i thought that i'd be able to handle it, but i can't. coming out here isn't healthy. this is just..me hating myself so much that i can't fucking stop. tommy wouldn't want this. tommy would want me to be okay."

"ranboo would be pissed at me if he was still alive. for beatin' myself up over all of this. for meetin' someone new and not tellin' them anythin' about myself. but i can't. you understand, don't you, songbird? you're the only one who understands. i'm sorry."

"i'm sorry, too, king. i shouldn't have talked to you. we should have never spoken. it's just going to make it so much harder when one of us dies, because you know it's going to happen. i think it'll be me. you seem smart enough to live. i'm too fucking stupid to survive."

"i don't have anyone to live for, songbird. that was the only thing keepin' me goin'. he was the only thing i had left. he was my reason to survive, he was my brother. i've got nothin' left now, and i've got no reason to keep goin'. what's the point, songbird? what's the point?"

"i guess we've got each other, king. you and i, i mean. it's not the same. it'll never be the same ever again, but it's a start. sort of. promise me that when one of us die, we'll bury them here. next to their little brother. promise?"

"promise."

they start to meet outside of the graveyard. wilbur will see him passing by, techno will see him in the streets. songbird and king become less of mourning partners and more or less friends. it happens on accident, and it scares the shit out of them, all because of the what ifs.

eventually, wilbur offers techno a place to stay. techno starts to visit, only to get away from the place he lived with ranboo. there are signs of another person in the flat, and techno assumes that that used to be tommy. he never asks, though - he already knows.

they establish a routine for themselves and for each other. wilbur makes sure techno doesn't sleep all day, and techno forces wilbur to get out of the flat and into the open air so he doesn't stay inside all the time. there's a lot of yelling. a lot of hurt. a lot of mistrust.

they make it work, though. it takes time. it takes a lot of time, and they're still going by those stupid nicknames because they're both so fucking scared. wilbur hates himself for getting close to techno. techno hates himself for getting close to wilbur. they hate each other.

wilbur hates techno for being safe, kind, understanding, welcoming. he hates him because he's so nice and he doesn't ever push and he gets wilbur out of bed and outside and wilbur hates him, he hates him so fucking much because if techno dies, wilbur won't be able to handle it.

techno hates wilbur because he's sweet and understanding and he never asks about his past or history and anything, he never pushes. techno lashes out and screams and sometimes he wants to throw punches and wilbur just takes it all, he understands, wilbur fucking understands.

their friendship is rocky. there's a lot of fighting and yelling. they never mean the words they say, but it's so much easier to pretend like they do. to pretend like they don't love each other, to pretend like they haven't accidentally become family. it hurts so fucking much.

it was never supposed to happen like this. they weren't supposed to heal. they were supposed to be broken for the rest of their lives, but they aren't. they're broken and they hurt so badly, but they're healing. they're healing, and it hurts so much to heal, it's hurts so bad.

and slowly, they stop arguing as much. their days are quieter, not filled with yelling. they're broken, they've broken each other down. they can't fight it anymore. wilbur is techno's brother. they're brothers now. they can't fight it. they're so scared. they're SO scared.

and then one day, early in the morning, they talk.

"my name isn't songbird."

"obviously. and i'm not king."

"my name is wilbur."

"oh."

"yeah. that's my name. my name is wilbur soot, and i- i want you to call me that. i want you to call me wilbur. not songbird. not anymore."

weeks go by, the name "wilbur" feels weird on techno's tongue, but it feels better. it makes him a little happier. he can see that it makes wilbur happy, too. it makes him smile, it makes him laugh. he looks happier. he looks a little less broken. so techno calls him wilbur.

"my name isn't king."

"i know."

"my name..it's techno. technoblade. that's my name. i don't want to be king, not anymore. i want to be techno. i want you to call me techno. okay, wilbur?"

"okay," wilbur smiles. "okay, techno."

they promised each other that they would never say their real names. they promised each other that they would never get close.

some promises, they think, are meant to be broken.

they heal. slowly, but they heal. it takes time, it takes more time than either of them really thought. sometimes wilbur can't get out of bed, and techno has to resort to dragging him out by the legs so he'll eat or move or do anything.

sometimes techno stares out into the city, and wilbur comes out onto the balcony with his guitar and he sings. he sings songs that he thinks he would have played in front of an audience, had the world not gone to shit. techno listens, he listens and he tries to heal.

it's hard. all of it, it's really, really hard. there are days where wilbur calls techno king and yells at him to get the fuck out of their house. there are days where techno calls wilbur songbird and tells him that he wishes they had never meant. the words never mean anything.

and yet slowly they heal. slowly they fix each other. slowly they pick up their pieces and glue them back together. wilbur teaches techno how to stop being tone deaf. techno teaches wilbur how to throw a proper punch. they heal together. it's easier to heal with each other.

there are bad days, but there are always bad days. there always will be bad days, it's just how it works. but they're not as often as they used to be. maybe once every few weeks rather than every other day. they heal, and once they start healing, they don't stop.

wilbur goes back to the graveyard.

"hey, tommy," he says. "i think i figured out how to live again. i think you'd be proud of me. i don't hate myself as much. i think you'd like this guy i met- he's sort of..he's my brother. he's my best friend. you'd have loved him, tommy."

techno sits at ranboo's headstone.

"hey, ranboo. i'm not as sad anymore. i feel less like shit all the time. i met a man, his name is wilbur. he's..he's my best friend, my brother. he's important. you would have loved him, ranboo. no one can hate him. even if they tried."

they come back home, and the other is always there, waiting. willing to listen. willing to talk. willing to be a distraction or to do anything, because they're best friends, they're brothers, they know what they have to do for the other to be okay. they've learnt.

it really isn't ideal. most of their days are filled with grief and old wounds still scarring over, but for the most part, it's not as bad. it's a lot easier to forget why you hate yourself when someone else is there telling you that they love you.

they make it work. it gets easier. the pain never fully goes away, but it's manageable. when wilbur breathes, he doesn't feel like he's taking in recycled air. he feels like he's alive again. he feels like he's happy again. he feels like his smiles aren't fake anymore.

when techno laughs, he thinks that it's real. he thinks that he's happier now. he feels like he isn't as terrified anymore. techno can breathe and it doesn't feel like he's suffocating, not anymore. not anymore.

and that's how it ends. there are awful days, but they're overshadowed by the good ones. it's okay, now. it's okay.

they're okay.

so long as they have each other, they'll be okay.

okay i'm done goodbye now :)

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