So, I am applying for a work permit for Belgium as my stay will last longer than 90 days. This thread is a guide for others who may have to do the same. Thanks @OliverDowden @BorisJohnson @cj_dinenage for this nightmare of red-tape.

Firstly, you need a work permit from your employer. You will then need to apply for a long term permit. This costs £180 plus £30 processing.

Next, you will need 4 passport photos (standard). However, this is where the horror starts.

You need ACRO police certificate. This will cost between £95 and £55 depending on whether you want it in 2 days or within 3 weeks.

This then needs to be legalised, which involves posting it to a government office, who will stamp it. This takes 10 days plus shipping time. This costs 35.50 minimum.

You will also need a medical certificate from one of the Belgian embassy's 'approved' doctors. This costs between £125 and £325 and basically just says you don't have TB or anything else that requires quarantine.

Every document is asked for in duplicate or triplicate, so fire up your printer. You will then need an appointment. User beware, if you fill everything in online and then DON't have your documents within 15 days, you have to start again.

The office is in Wandsworth. They are only open on Tuesdays. And that, dear reader, is as far as I've got. The cost is between £425.50 and £665.50 and a minimum of 6 weeks to get all documentation and the permit processed.

If you’re all stressing out, here’s a little song which is strangely appropriate..