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thread of some of the more “subtle” facets of lwj’s character bc i’m thinking about him 25/8
hot takes include insecurities, self vs idealized self, relationship with the rules, views on love and more
hot takes include insecurities, self vs idealized self, relationship with the rules, views on love and more
lwj loving with his whole entire being is SUCH an important part of his character because that’s the driving force behind a lot of his views and decisions, including his relationship with himself
lwj does have a gifted kid upbringing, but a very unique brand of it. lwj puts his heart into everything he sets his mind to, expects a lot from himself, not really for the usual reason of establishing self-respect but for personal growth to help the people he loves
shufu works hard to teach him? he’s going to be a good student! xiongzhang is going to be sect leader and is taking on duties at a young age? lwj is going to train hard so he can help ease his burden! he loves his family and his sect so he follows the rules and studies hard
but the first time lwj felt inadequate was when madam lan passed away. was he not good enough? why did she leave him? maybe even before that; he only gets to see her if he’s good? why does he see her so rarely then? and if she’s not answering does this mean he’s not good anymore?
he kneels (and rebels) for the first time in his life, and then throws himself into comfortable, predictable things like rules and studies and structure, things he knows he’ll be good enough at to prevent anything like this from happening to anyone else he holds dear
the problem now is that people now only see him for what he can do (as i said, gifted kid phenomenon) and the impassive front he puts up. lwj becomes a concept, an ideal, rather than a person. even lqr, as much as he loves him sincerely, is sometimes guilty of this as well.
aside from lxc it’s only wwx who cares about lwj the human more than lwj the idea, and that rattles him. lwj the idea is cold and perfect, but lwj the human is terribly flawed while still being boring. lwj doesn’t feel anyone would appreciate his true self, so he guards it
he already HAS self-respect! he knows his worth...but only the worth of the idealized version of himself. deep down he himself is guilty of this too. it’s very gifted kid of him that this is all happening subconsciously
when lwj cries in the xuanwu cave it comes from feelings of helplessness and uselessness to help those he loves back home. he becomes resolute in supporting gusu lan more than ever but when wwx goes missing he has to split his efforts. his wwx vs family conflict is starting up
but when he’s found, lwj’s approach is 1) to warn him of the harmful effects of resentful energy. this would work in gusulan, because lans are taught to care for themselves so they can do their duties and live their lives in good condition with a clear conscience and mind
and 2) “come back to gusu” because that’s the only way lwj can help both wwx and gusulan in the ways he knows how. wwx takes it as sanctimonious talk instead, and lwj is now put into the position his dad was in once upon a time
lwj does this frequently enough but each time he does, he’s willing to let the topic drop faster than before. though it’s still impulsive, he’s more willing to give wwx the freedom of choice over time, also likely bc he’s learning to trust in him more and more
teen/young adult lwj is much more impulsive than 30+ yo lwj. he’s also got an interesting brand of selfishness rooted in genuine care but a little twisted by a warped ideal of love he doesn’t truly understand
when lwj saves wwx after nightless city he confesses everything hoping that he’ll be enough to save wwx, the knowledge that someone is there for him and loves him especially after he lost so many of them. wwx is out of it and tells him to get lost, and he carries this with him
from then on. lwj has lost his footing in both wwx’s life and in his family. he repays the debt to his sect and realizes that now he can help an entire whole new group of people he cares about: the regular folk, people like the dafan wens and a-yuan before everything went to hell
he travels and does hot hgj shit, and he also now has a-yuan and his own group of juniors to love. lwj has grown rather distant from his family (their roles are so very different now) but now has a son and juniors to care for and teach. and he does! very well, in fact
SO well that his juniors like jingyi respect him in a very different way from the way his peers and elders did. they respect lwj the person, not lwj the idea. they know his soft side with sizhui and his rabbits, they know he cares for them with all his heart
they smile and cheer for him when he does cool hgj things and helps them out (see mo manor) and it’s perhaps his first real friendship after wwx.
between the juniors and the regular folk lwj realizes that he does not need the rules to help the people he loves. in fact, they held him back from seeing the real ways to help people like wwx until it was too late
lwj’s relationship with the rules becomes very much like a modern person’s relationship with religious tenets after realizing that some of them are really just meant for historical context but are twisted by organized religious institutions to foster hate (for power and profit)
in the end the modern religious person will just adhere to the core beliefs, the ones that really matter, the ones with good reason. lwj is older and his response to the loss of a loved one isnt what it was with madam lan
instead of finding comfort in rules, now he questions and tried to make sense of the rules, really analyzes it instead of blindly following, works out the contradictions and figures out which to live by. he wants the juniors to grow up with that freedom to discern too
shuangbi/shuangjie parallel: lwj, who was supposed to be to lxc what wwx was supposed to be to jc, has also diverged in this role just as wwx did. he does his solo night hunts, and operates more as a solo cultivator + teacher than directly involved in sect matters. though their
relationship isn't exactly strained, they do become distant in that regard. lxc has to do hot sect leader shit and hang out with jgy, and lwj has a life mission now beyond his sect. it's the way the world around you expands because you've matured.
lwj was actively maturing throughout those 13 years, and because of that he finally got to have that reconciliation of his image, the idea of him, with his individual self. they’re one and the same now
he used to be known for his strictness and coldness, but his reputation has begun to focus more on how good he is, how he’s a light bearer to the darker corners of the world. his reputation is now things that he, lwj the person, is, rather than what he hides behind
this is EXACTLY why the “you really deserve your name” exchange in cql is so good. hgj is who lwj is: righteous, no longer helpless to help others, and good. yllz as a title is born out of fear and misconceptions and NOT who wwx is. wei ying is wei ying, and THAT’s who he is
i’ve talked about lwj’s jealousy before and how it stems from an insecurity of not being good enough. lwj’s jealousy isn’t “he should be doing that with ME” but “why would he do that with me? i’ve failed him, i’m not good enough for him” the way he thought he failed as a child
his jealousy towards wen ning is especially interesting bc he feels that wen ning has been by wwx’s side all this time while he has failed in this regard. it’s a lot of guilt too, and it’s not the same kind of jealousy he had towards mianmian in his youth
(a lil more on jealous lwj + some wn lwj friendship agenda) https://twitter.com/yuyu_finale/status/1339865767425163265
lwj’s love language is acts of service and he is very VERY good at it. we all know that part of it is bc he’s not good with words but a lot of it is because acts of service require you to give a part of yourself more than other expressions of love AND it is also the “purest” form
“purest” in the sense that it’s unfiltered by words or some other format of expression. it is what it is and it does not necessarily open up an avenue for reciprocation (bc like if someone says ily...it’d be weird if u didnt say smth back). acts of service allow lwj to give
himself fully to the people he loves and that’s how he’s always done it! he’s been misunderstood all his life but an act of service can be taken independently from the intentions behind it, can exist and be understood as its own form outside of the doer’s feelings.
i’ve written about how lwj wouldn’t use his love to burden wwx, even accidentally. acts of service allow him to love wwx with all he has without putting the ball in wwx’s court. he’s free to decide on his own whether he wants lwj in his life or not. https://twitter.com/yuyu_finale/status/1361052860004200448
ok let’s talk about lwj’s views on love and sex!! this is interesting bc i rarely see this in fictional characters anywhere ever. lwj believes that lust and sex are reserved for someone he loves romantically, ie he does not lust after, flirt with, or bang anyone he doesnt love
this is very cool bc it comes both from his self-respect and his respect for others! he’s not going to give himself away like that for a few moments of pleasure to someone he doesnt loce, and he’s not here to play with someone else’s feelings, intentional or otherwise
lwj has this aversion to touch from people he’s not close to, though from what i can tell he isn’t exactly haphebhobic. lwj sees his body as an extension of himself and therefore of his love, and he’s not going to use it to express love to someone he, well, doesnt love
the meaning of his courtesy name (NOT blue forget machine) is VERY cool because his carnal reactions and desires HAVE to align with what he feels in his soul. his physical body is not a separate entity but is connected to his mind and spirit. tldr lwj says no sex without love!
changing topic bc if i talk abt lwj’s body in the context of sex too long i might get hormny and this is NOT the right thread for that
lwj has a resentment for anyone who’s ever hurt wwx....except jin ling
i LOVE the jin ling lwj dynamic bc lwj goes from very scary quiet uncle that jiujiu likes to provoke for some reason to top 3 favorite uncles that i will sing a birthday song to
i LOVE the jin ling lwj dynamic bc lwj goes from very scary quiet uncle that jiujiu likes to provoke for some reason to top 3 favorite uncles that i will sing a birthday song to
i find it very cool of lwj that he doesn’t hold the stabbing of wwx against jl when he’s definitely death-glared people who’ve done way less. jl did kinda almost end wwx’s second life, even if he missed (likely on purpose bc he was conflicted), wwx was still out for like. days
but lwj likely saw this conflict and confusion, likely understood that jl would blame wwx for his parents’ death (and he knows the pain of losing his parents) and also that jl is a literal child, and thus does not hesitate to save him from jgy and help him out whenever
lwj grew up in a world where children jin ling’s age would face full consequences and punishment for their actions but he is DONE with that! he knows jin ling is a good but lonely kid and is only Like That bc he spends too much time around jc. lwj believes in letting the kids
find their own way and it extends to jin ling too. lwj doesn’t treat the juniors like children, doesn’t talk down to them or what, but he also gives them space to grow, and doesn’t hold them to the same standards he does with adults when he passes judgment
(stopping here for now but whenever i have Realizations i’ll be putting them here! thanks so much for reading my lwj thoughts 
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top of the thread so u dont have to do sexy times with wangxian levels of scrolling https://twitter.com/yuyu_finale/status/1361177176733704197
ok i’m back and this time i wanna talk more about lwj and control
perhaps one of the most important lessons one learns growing up is that most things are out of your control, and thus you have to learn how to take charge of the things you CAN control
perhaps one of the most important lessons one learns growing up is that most things are out of your control, and thus you have to learn how to take charge of the things you CAN control
madam lan’s death was completely out of lwj’s control and it was too much. so he found comfort in things he COULD control, but when you’re young all you can really control is what you do. your thoughts to some extent. feelings are harder, and can be tempered but not changed
lwj subconsciously distanced himself from most people likely because other people’s reactions to him and thoughts about him are also out of his control. he really needed someone like lqr who was very transparent and honest in what he says, does, and expects from lwj
to lwj, taking charge of the situation means he can help those he cares about as much as he can. he can do his best (and lwj doesn’t half-ass things ever) and his efforts to help will pay off. for now, he can only start with certain aspects of himself.
cue lwj focusing on his studies and training, which is something he knows he can control and excel in. he knows he can be enough in that regard. school is a rather predictable environment: study hard, do well in assessments, get good grades, repeat
part of the frustration of falling in love with wwx is the loss of control over the self. his thoughts stray. his feelings (which no one really has control over, ever) are harder to temper. the loss of control over oneself is, honestly, super fucking terrifying for lwj
lwj, who needs structure and order and has trained and studied hard so he can take charge of more and more aspects of himself and his life, in the future, is now losing control and slipping back to square one.
pre-sunshot lwj saw a huge increase in taking control of as many things as he could. now that he has more authority as second young master lan, he sends disciples to look for the jiangs and he searches too. he helps out clans victimized by the wens. and that scene in the donghua
where he explains to a lan elder the reasoning behind what he’s doing really solidifes lwj as the kind of person who NEEDS to be proactive and take charge of whatever he can, even beyond what’s expected.
that’s lwj discovering that more things are in his control now, and if he tries hard enough, he can improve the situation on a larger scale. and that’s all well and good; he’s helping the lan clan rebuild and helping in the war
but his newfound increase in control doesn’t extend to individual people. he finds wwx and immediately assumes the responsibility of helping him and taking charge as he’s done with everything else. but wwx has his own control over his own life, and lwj feels powerless again
lwj feels that a loss of control means self-destruction, which is why one of his primary concerns about demonic cultivation is whether wwx can really control it. so he worries.
it must be said that up to this point, lwj had no real control over himself. he’s been thrust into different roles in his life, and can only control the aspects of himself that fit into or work around those roles
but when he defends wwx after nightless city against his sect elders, that’s him finally asserting control over himself as a whole individual rather than assorted aspects of himself:
he’s not taking charge of the actions of lwj the student or lwj the lan disciple or hgj the cultivator but of lwj the person. he now knows that he stands for righteousness and he’ll see it through to the best of his control
he takes in a-yuan, and goes around helping as many people as he can after his seclusion. he has control over his OWN life now, and takes charge of the situation in any way he can in order to help people.
he takes charge of the juniors, whom he personally teaches, but he guides them, not controls. he lets them handle things he feels they can do. he cares about them as individuals more than as charges
and when wwx comes back, he takes charge of wwx’s well-being, and defends him from literally everyone because he can and he will. get lan wangji’d, everyone
full disclaimer i am not a sex psychologist and have never studied it but i think lwj’s need for control manifests in the way he prefers topping and his thing for bondage
he feels good when he does the work! and he’s confident he has what it takes to make wwx feel good too! (and he’s right) he’s basically saying “let me handle everything” and it’s very on-brand for him
i talked about this with @YuJun404: lwj gains more control over the events of the story as he grows and gains more control over his own life. mdzs is very much an agency vs structure story
“vs” implies a fight for predominance but it’s not: lwj’s agency is not independent of the structure of his sect (belief systems and whatnot) but is influenced by it. his own individuality, in turn, forces structure to adapt. S and A are their own entities but change each other
in short: you can’t separate lwj from gusulan (referring to gusulan as a conceptual reality) but lwj is also his own person.
and his own person is shaped by gusulan, as gusulan is shaped by lwj being his own person.
and his own person is shaped by gusulan, as gusulan is shaped by lwj being his own person.
