I've made and lost hundreds of millions of dollars building Technology Businesses, today I want to reveal my secrets.

A Valentine's day on how to succeed in the real world of business.

Make sure to like, RT, and follow for more.

1/n Competition is for losers.

Start a business doing something that no one knows much about.

This way you'll have to spend a lot of money to educate the market. I mean millions $$$

Remember Capital Is A Moat just keep spending and you'll hit PMF. Keep Softbank on speed-dial

While we're talking about capital, this is how you should fundraise:

- no DocuSign (shows you don't trust them)
- no product, revenue, or users (kills the illusion)
- optimize for hype
- if you get pushback on any detail of your pitch just say Sequoia is thinking of investing

So once that's out of the way you have to set OKRs for yourself.

Remember this is industry best practice (aka GOOGLE does it) so it'll work for your 3 person startup.

Everyone picks different metrics to focus on but if you pick these you should be good:

Primary Metrics
- Headcount Doubling Rate (HDR)

Remember all TechCrunch cares about is how quickly you can grow your employee base, so be sure to focus all your energy on this.

Average Revenue per Employee should be as low as possible, remember more people = more innovation.

Secondary Metrics:
- Rate of FOMO Generation (RFG)

You can increase this by spending time optimizing twitter metrics (personal follow count, times mentioned on "best to follow" lists, # of times mayor of Miami tags you)

Also never build an Android app (you only want wealth first world citizens as users) and be sure to go Invite only (will boost RFG metrics).

Go invite-only even if you're in B2B saas. Make Jim beg his coworkers for an invite to your stripe optimization tool, trust me it works.

Lastly, never ever, under any circumstance, talk to your users.

Remember Henry Ford ?
"If I asked the peasants what they wanted they would have asked for faster horses, lol morons" - 1896

This is the most optimal way to spend your time as an Executive:

7am - 4pm
Twitting shit like "have good energy"

6 - 8pm
Fundraising (clubhouse is good for this)

9 - 11pm
Browsing Zillow for your new penthouse once secondaries are secured

Thanks for reading! Drop me a like and RT, so others can access this value (they don't teach this at HBS)

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