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Before I say anything else about this, I’m gonna say that I know straight couples who are like best friends, have tons of things in common, etc. There are plenty of healthy straight relationships and plenty of really unhealthy nonstraight ones.
Having said that... https://twitter.com/pandershirts/status/1360777698201772033
Having said that... https://twitter.com/pandershirts/status/1360777698201772033
I feel like straight people are kind of steered into terrible relationships by the culture. You know the stereotypes. Men like X, women like Y. My wife hates my friends and doesn’t let me do anything I think is fun ha ha ha. The old ball and chain ha ha ha.
Like there are two categories of people, “friends” and “potential romantic partners” and there’s no overlap, so you marry someone you have nothing in common with and maybe aren’t even attracted to because “he’s a good provider” or whatever. Then you just end up hating each other.
I dunno. Like a lot of queer people I played at being straight in high school. I went through the motions because I thought I was supposed to. (I was very very bad at it.)
Honestly it seemed like that’s what everyone else was doing, too, even actual straight people.
Honestly it seemed like that’s what everyone else was doing, too, even actual straight people.
It’s often seemed to me a lot of straight people I know, particularly but not exclusively ones who are older than me, married someone who checked an acceptable number of boxes on a form (“yes, you are an acceptable partner!”) and then wound up at best sort of grudgingly okay.
Me, I married my best friend.
We didn’t know we were falling in love even as we were, because it didn’t look anything like what the culture had told us falling in love would look like. We sort of just realized it (“huh, I think we might be in love”) years in.
We didn’t know we were falling in love even as we were, because it didn’t look anything like what the culture had told us falling in love would look like. We sort of just realized it (“huh, I think we might be in love”) years in.
My family was super suspicious of it. This was not at all what the template for relationships looked like to them.
It was kind of like, well, yeah, but I don’t want to be like you. You’re miserable. I want to be happy.
It was kind of like, well, yeah, but I don’t want to be like you. You’re miserable. I want to be happy.
I think being totally incapable of even pretending to be “normal” saved us. We couldn’t even fake it, so if we have to be weird we might as well also be happy.
And it’s the best. We’ve been together for almost 17 years and it’s like a neverending sleepover.
And it’s the best. We’ve been together for almost 17 years and it’s like a neverending sleepover.
We’ve been through different surface presentations in that time. In the beginning we looked to the world like a gay couple. We’ve been on a journey since then: I’m a woman, they’re an enby, but we’re still just us, just best friends on an adventure, going through life together.
I guess if I’m saying anything it’s...if the rules say you should be with someone you don’t even really like, disregard them. Gay, straight, whatever weird thing in between my spouse and I are...life is short. Be with someone who makes you feel good.
