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I was a single pastor until I was 35.
Singleness can be so isolating on its own, but not many know the kind of isolation that comes with pastoring as a single person in their 30s in a tradition (evangelical) that has set married clergy as the standard.
Singleness can be so isolating on its own, but not many know the kind of isolation that comes with pastoring as a single person in their 30s in a tradition (evangelical) that has set married clergy as the standard.
I had my sexuality and my masculinity questioned regularly as if my singleness negatively impacted my ability to lead a church.
Many felt as if it was their calling to find me a spouse and set me up on dates, when really I would have been so thankful if they would have just provided me with their friendship.
Dating as a pastor is SO WEIRD! It just needs to be said. Having theological interrogations on the first date or weird things being called “pastor” or “father” by your dates (true story) just makes the potential of ever finding someone feel impossible, intensifying loneliness.
Also, try preaching when the person you’ve had just one date with shows up to Sunday service without asking. No one should have the awkward experience of fielding all the questions from your church people about someone you haven’t had time to make your mind up about yet.
Oh, and also, WE WORK EVERY WEEKEND! Try having a social life when your small church is your social life.
Also, if you don’t think single doctors should see their patience as a dating pool and single professors shouldn’t see their students as a dating pool, then you really shouldn’t pressure single pastors to see their congregations as dating pools either. Nope 
I could go on and on, but I think you get the point.
We as the church need to do better at normalizing singleness. Single people aren’t incomplete persons, they are whole persons who need full communion with the body of Christ like anyone else. They can also be a means of God’s grace to the church if we’re willing to listen.
If you’re a single Christian and especially if you’re a single pastor today, know that you are not alone. You are seen. You are known. You are loved and you don’t deserve to be shamed because of your singleness.
