For Valentine's Day, I present to you a collection of bad archaeological dating jokes memed on bad stock photos and introduced with bad poems. It's bad, like train-wreck bad

Roses are red
Violets are blue
If you like archaeological dating jokes
Then I’ve got you!

Roses are red
Golden is my ring
Archaeologists are known
For trying to date everything

Roses are red
Carbon-14 decays
as do other datable radioactive isotopes
such as uranium-thorium in other ways

Roses are red
Thermoluminescence is cool
Stimulating a sample reveals its last exposure to heat
And that’s a useful dating tool

(don't ask why there's a pic of a dog dressed this way when you google archaeologist stock photos)

Roses are red
The present is today
Unless you use Before Present dates
In which case 1950 is today

Roses are red
and quite stylish too
pottery however gives me
that perfect TPQ

Roses are red
so is a red-figure pot
when you find a sherd
that layer's date is hot

Roses are red
but archaeology stock pics are shit
what's up with this guy?
on google he's the main hit

Roses are red
archaeology films are rad
But they ain't the real thing
the archaeology in them is bad

Roses are red
Teaching should be funny
This slide is from my lecture
on archaeological chronology