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Pair Bonding
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There is nothing casual about casual sex. It is nothing but a misnomer. The consequences are quite severe.
Men and women are biologically different, hence they incur a different level of cost while having casual sex.
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There is nothing casual about casual sex. It is nothing but a misnomer. The consequences are quite severe.
Men and women are biologically different, hence they incur a different level of cost while having casual sex.
The cost is mostly due to pair bonding and femininity/masculinity.
Pair bonding means biological love or propensity to connect emotionally or bond with your partner after sex.
Pair bonding means biological love or propensity to connect emotionally or bond with your partner after sex.
After sexual intercourse, oxytocin is released in women and vasopressin in men. “Post-Sex Afterglow “results from the same.
Women pair bond more quickly than men do. Only a few sexual encounters. Whereas, men take a lot of instances in order to pair bond.
Women pair bond more quickly than men do. Only a few sexual encounters. Whereas, men take a lot of instances in order to pair bond.
On a flip side, the duration of pair bonding is way shorter in case of women and way long for men. You’d have to have sex with your wife periodically in a rough sense to maintain it.
This results in men to love their wives in their 60s. In his mind, she’s still that 20-year-old woman he married. We call it “wife goggles”. It is quite hard to take it off.
First pair bonding is special for women. It’s the strongest.
First pair bonding is special for women. It’s the strongest.
That’s why they always remember it. One of the reason for wanting a virgin wife.
In casual sex, pair bonding are formed and broken multiple times.
In casual sex, pair bonding are formed and broken multiple times.
This causes trauma and forces the brain to adapt and reorganize itself to create new connections, i.e. impaired pair bonding. People who have this are incapable of bonding or will have a very hard time.
According to my experience, they feel their sexual partner just as another penis. An object for pleasure. Those who are unaware, think this as a normal behavior. They lose the value of the person they are having sex with from an emotional point of view.
The reason for cheating happens from women’s side. Men mostly do it predominantly for lack of sex
“I love him, but I’m not in love with him”
“I don’t feel emotionally connected to him“
“I love him, but I’m not in love with him”
“I don’t feel emotionally connected to him“
Pair bonding is quite bad when you want to hook up with someone. That's why "pump and dump” exists. Pair bonding occurs just after sex, so before it commences, they leave.
You don’t want her/him to get attached or getting yourself attached.
You don’t want her/him to get attached or getting yourself attached.
Men face the same issue, but let’s just say, we can do over 50 sexual partner. But it varies from person to person.
Cost associated to femininity and masculinity: Sex for women isn’t the same as sex for me. They are letting a foreign object (penis) invade their body. An object that looks hideous.
He also is stronger than her. She requires a certain level of trust and assurance in the man involved in the act.
Men on another hand are “invader”. One of reason women are so pragmatic during mate selection.
Going through this multiple times destroys her
Men on another hand are “invader”. One of reason women are so pragmatic during mate selection.
Going through this multiple times destroys her
Biologically men are wired to have sex with as many women they can for two reason: they are cheap or expandable resource and they usually die earlier than a woman. So, they try to reproduce with as many women they can in order to increase their chances of passing on their genes.
In women, the cost (pregnancy and violence) associated with sex so high that she cannot afford to do the same.
Basically, men are K-strategies (sex focused) and women are r-strategiest (nurturing focused).
Basically, men are K-strategies (sex focused) and women are r-strategiest (nurturing focused).
In case of men, there’s no such cost. In fact, it makes him better by giving him with more experience. The experience destroys femininity and makes masculinity.
He values loyalty and chastity, and she values maturity, protection and provision.
He values loyalty and chastity, and she values maturity, protection and provision.
Further, her having sexual experience also makes her aware what she wants from the man, consequently making it harder for her to find a man who’d feet to her needs and she also would be harder to mold. *read as a lack of cooperation and instability*
Men having way less biological cost doesn’t mean there wouldn’t be social cost too. There's a few big ones.
1. You’re contributing to a system in which you’re wanting to ensure “child is mine” while indulging in casual sex. +
1. You’re contributing to a system in which you’re wanting to ensure “child is mine” while indulging in casual sex. +
If you’re doing the same to other, then someone else could be doing it to your would-be wife.
2. You are also signaling them you are only interested in sexual pleasure, so that is what women would give you.
2. You are also signaling them you are only interested in sexual pleasure, so that is what women would give you.
3. You are encouraging women to sleep around. Women are like a child, she would ask for your approval on something, if you don't stop or say no, she will run over you.
4. Men on extreme end of spectrum can become bitter about women after realizing your seduction skills works with every women you have sex with. This means all women are the same hence, you lose their capability to appreciate beauty and femininity in women.+
This isn't true at all. Ideally, immunity to rejection is considered as a good thing when it comes to dating.
When a guy dates 100 women and he gets rejected by 60 of them and after going through the same process multiple times, these 60 women start to reside in his blind spot +
When a guy dates 100 women and he gets rejected by 60 of them and after going through the same process multiple times, these 60 women start to reside in his blind spot +
i.e. they are invisible to him. He is dating only easy women, so he will get the impression that every women (in his reality) is promicious.
