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Rating the Celtic squad out of 10 on their likelihood to be Alpha Kaiser:
Scott 'Clown' Brown and Neil Lennon:
Scott Brown lives in perennial terror of folk finding porn and celtic hot takes in his likes and does not have the tech discipline for an operation like AK's.
Coach Neil has to get his son to click off Siri on a regular basis.
2/10
Scott Brown lives in perennial terror of folk finding porn and celtic hot takes in his likes and does not have the tech discipline for an operation like AK's.
Coach Neil has to get his son to click off Siri on a regular basis.
2/10
Griffdog:
If there's one cunt with the free time its him... Leigh also subscribes to Kaiserism's blend of hedonism and despair, embodying the sense of a great past since lost that permeates AK's worse takes. I just feel he would rather play xbox and shag about.
6/10
If there's one cunt with the free time its him... Leigh also subscribes to Kaiserism's blend of hedonism and despair, embodying the sense of a great past since lost that permeates AK's worse takes. I just feel he would rather play xbox and shag about.
6/10
Luca Connel:
His old Instagram is definitely chock a block with Joker quotes of dubious origin. He knows his way about an 8chan board and large dominoes in the early hours. My dark horse.
7/10
His old Instagram is definitely chock a block with Joker quotes of dubious origin. He knows his way about an 8chan board and large dominoes in the early hours. My dark horse.
7/10
Patryk Klimala:
Good catholic boy from former Prussia. He's definitely had boiler problems. He definitely is from a 'municipality' in an odd time zone. Geographically it all checks out. However, AK predates Klimalas time at Celtic.. did he move for the 'bit?'
8.5/10
Good catholic boy from former Prussia. He's definitely had boiler problems. He definitely is from a 'municipality' in an odd time zone. Geographically it all checks out. However, AK predates Klimalas time at Celtic.. did he move for the 'bit?'
8.5/10
Vasilis Barkas:
If Barkas was Alpha Kaiser it would mean he had self belief and confidence that outstrips anything i believe AK or Vasilis to have. He does however have the face of an Alpha Kaiser, the hatred of Neil Lennon to match, and also is most likely to bump Future.
5/10
If Barkas was Alpha Kaiser it would mean he had self belief and confidence that outstrips anything i believe AK or Vasilis to have. He does however have the face of an Alpha Kaiser, the hatred of Neil Lennon to match, and also is most likely to bump Future.
5/10
Gavin Strachan:
Loves a wee laptop and fridge raiders moment, and his jealousy and spite for Neil Lennon, the man dragging his name through the mire could well be channelled through a vengeful alter ego. Has some form of UEFA coaching license. Too old?
8/10
Loves a wee laptop and fridge raiders moment, and his jealousy and spite for Neil Lennon, the man dragging his name through the mire could well be channelled through a vengeful alter ego. Has some form of UEFA coaching license. Too old?
8/10
