I’ve gone through the Guardian’s Weekend magazine to review the ads.
We’ll go inside front to back.

1/ Facebook. Bland as fuck stock image. Logo doesn’t pop. All sounds a bit ‘We’re not destabilising democracy’.
But you are. And you can afford your own photography.

2/ WTF Holland & Barret? The home of CBD? Like Vegas is the home of strippers and fried chicken? Plus: Design looks like an evil mood-board came to life. But I clearly see your logo and now associate you with CBD oil. So that’s good. But it didn’t have to be ugly.

3/ Neville Something. Classic furniture ad. Totally forgettable until: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT TERRIFYING WORK FROM HOME IN THIS TINY CUPBOARD NIGHTMARE. Plus, not keen on that ‘sale’ flash. But well positioned.

4/ Starling Bank. Leading with a quote by ‘Robin’ a ‘Trustpilot reviewer’ - now, I don’t know whether Robin exists, but if he does, what makes him qualified to sound the death knell of High Street banks? Also, it’s a bit lucky he posted that for Starling, saves on copy fees.

5/ Habito
It’s ruffled a few feathers this campaign by @uncommon_LDN but I tell you what, it does exactly what an ads meant to do. You stop and read.
I have no idea what Habito do.
Duvets probably.

6/ Bloom & Wild - a double page spread (someone’s pushed the boat out). And what’s that you say YOU’RE NOT SELLING ROSES!?? It’s Valentines Day! Have you lost you me minds? This is the one day of the year that you sell loads of roses!? This is career suicide.

Oh, oh hang on...

7/ Halo Capsule: So, we’ll skip over the name, although @weare_halo team, that’s how the logo should’ve looked, but let’s focus on the ad’s message hierarchy. MY EYES MY EYES! WHERE DO I START? I’m tired of heavy vacuums & I want a super value bundle and I’m ready to ACT NOW. FML

8/ Renault
Considering you have plenty of money and a fancy agency with loads of letters in the name, this is fucking awful. Shit headline, but then BULLET POINTS!?!!!? It’s a fucking list. Plus, can we talk about the models? Are they hiding their faces because of the shame?

I love advertising.
Why don’t brands want good ads anymore?