Ok well how about you restrict shit to yourself because some of us would like to be seen AS ADULT HUMAN FUCKING BEINGS

Look here is an attempt at a more moderate attempt of a thread I wrote and deleted last night in response to this bullshit

"Non-binary" is a really big fucking umbrella, y'all. I need binary people to understand that. It covers AFAB trans masc people like me. It covers indigenous Two Spirit people. It covers agender people.

It covers those of us who have physical dysphoria and seek out medical transition, and it covers genderfluid people who are comfortable with their bodies and can work magic with clothing and makeup to flip gender expressions depending on the day.

Right now, a lot of binary gender people, cis and trans, are pulling this absolute fucking bullshit and trying to solidify "non-binary" as a single third gender that is best summed up as "manic pixie dream girl, but with they/them pronouns"

A bunch of non-binary people, for whatever reason, are buying the fuck into it and reinforcing it.

It's hurting people. It. Is. Hurting. People.

It is restricting "non-binary" to a paradigm of the TikTok teen who never grows up. It is restricting it to "AFAB person who never wants to be TOO masc, just delicately androgynous, maybe kinda femmeboy"

It is up there with the constant attempt to force all trans men into the "soft boi" aesthetic. It is harmful. It is alienating.

Non-binary people are a huge and glorious heterogeneous group. NOBODY should be talking about how non-binary people dress or talk or whatever because the only thing we have in common is that the gender binary, for whatever reason, does not fucking work for us.

I am terrified and lonely right now. I have launched off from the company of women and the safety of women's spaces, where I had a kind of acceptance at least even though I spent 44 years being told I was gendering wrong, into a brave new world.

And what I find is that people are, once again, lining up to tell me (and others, I am not the only one) that I am gendering wrong, because who I am as a trans masculine non-binary person is not Gonzo in bright colors and prints, it is James Buchanan Barnes.

It is clothing chosen for practicality and concealment because *I live in the rural South and some people here are not kind to queer people*. It is a history of trauma and being broken by what I did in war. It is needing to be able to get 150lb goats on their feet.

It is pride in being able to throw a 50lb hay bale 8-10 feet at face height. It is pride in punching a tree a knocking it down.

OK it was a small tree and dead already and had been for like a year BUT IT WAS REALLY COOL until it knocked down another small tree which fell on me

I'm fine, the other tree was also small and I learned a valuable lesson about paying attention to which way the tree will fall when I punch it.

The point is.

The point is. If you are binary, shut the fuck up about us. If you are non-binary I am BEGGING you to stop talking like the manic pixie dream them stereotype is all of us. We are so much more than that and you are shutting so many of us out with that.

Some of us are transmasculine and punch trees and do not want to be delicately androgynous and brightly colored. Some of us are AMAB and that shit just is not achievable without interventions they don't want. Some of us are fat and will never be able to do skinny and androgynous.

We are gloriously variable here outside the gender binary. And Jesus a lot of us are carrying trauma and Feelings related to gender and being told we're doing it Wrong and can we just... Not do that again? Can we just embrace that we are gloriously variable?

Can we say that clothes are ugly without making declarations about how all non-binary people dress, for the love of little fishes? Please?

Also this? Dehumanizing yourself because you feel like there is not enough room for you in the human race is a *problem*. If someone else were telling us we were robots and monsters, we would recognize that as harmful, not "uwu queer culture"

Arguably, trauma from bigotry is in fact queer culture but I viscerally reject embracing a framing that pushes non-binary people *outside the human race*. That's not fun and cute, it's fucking horrifying and potentially gets us fucking killed.

Again. I live in the rural South. I love this place but I'm VERY clear-eyed about it. Dehumanizing people like me, even by OTHER PEOPLE LIKE ME, normalizes the violent transphobia that lurks not far beneath the surface here.

The longer I'm on T the closer I get to my voice changing, to living in that nebulous time between passing as an adult woman and perhaps passing as an adult man and I am terrified of that place because it's actively dangerous here. This shit ain't helping.

Anyway. I'm gonna go play video games for an hour. Please just think before you make sweeping statements about how non-binary people act and dress. If you're not non-binary, maybe fuck off and don't do it.