OMG, language teachers, you CANNOT use CI/language acquisition theory or “linguistics” to excuse your unwillingness or “inability” to accept a trans or nonbinary person’s pronouns. Just stop.

Yes, you might make a mistake and misgender someone, but how you react matters. Take ownership, acknowledge harm done, commit to do better, then actually do better. Blaming it on the way the brain learns language is not the way to go.

This is where we take CI theory and positions on unconscious/conscious language learning and error correction WAY TOO FAR. You can’t respect someone’s identity because you need more input? Or because conscious language learning isn’t how the brain works? Nah.

When it comes to someone’s identity and humanity, leave your questionable language theories at the door and do the right thing. And maybe if you actually saw that person as their true selves, using their correct pronouns wouldn’t be a challenge.

If you see a trans man as a man, it’s not hard to say “him”. If you see a nonbinary person as a nonbinary person, it’s not hard to say “them”. I think some misgendering is rooted in your mental representation of that person not matching that person’s actual identity.

But then you go and blame some vague notion of “linguistics” or language acquisition theory on why you can’t get it right.

Nah.

This thread is not a reaction to a single person. I keep seeing versions of this argument pop up over the years. When we see it, we have a responsibility to call it out for what it is: dangerous and harmful.