the truth is, we all go into relationships viewing ourselves in a certain light. some of us think we are amazing romantic partners to have. others, may lack that self-confidence. either way, we have to prepare ourselves to find out that maybe we were wrong about ourselves.

now this doesn’t mean listen to the first partner you get thats calling you a piece of shit because of course that leaves you susceptible to being manipulated and abused. but, if their claims seem rational, try to see where they are coming from?

even if it goes against what you originally believed about yourself. because our self-concept up until this point has been molded by all of our experiences. every person we have interact with up until this point has contributed to how we view ourselves.

if you surround yourself with people who think your level of effort towards them is top tier but then you start dating someone who is asking you for more. if your initial response is “you’re crazy, that’s not true, everyone in my life thinks i’m selfless” then...

you need to realize that’s true from THEIR perspectives. it doesn’t make your partner wrong, simply different. hear them out first before you immediately reject it just because your ego feels bruised & your self-esteem attacked.

different people will show you different sides of yourself. some sides, you may really love. other sides? you may not be ready to face and that’s a huge reason as to why a lot of relationships end too. some people would rather live in denial that they could ever have flaws.