Tonight's corporate just included my strangest ever heckle. In 12 years of comedy I've never had a heckle weirder and more unsettling than "MICHAEL JACKSON IS NOT A PEADOPHILE! NO HE ISN'T! HE ISN'T! HE IS NOT A PEADOPHILE! NO! NO!".

And then just me going "he is though, he definitely is, mate, he is". Great comedy. Really made the next 10 minutes of the set pop with the glorious atmosphere.

Just realised that to that person I'm an edgelord comic.

State of my mentions. I wish Michael Jackson fans would stop lying about evidence just because MJ was so good at dancing. If he was just some guy down the street who had a lot of ferrets they wouldn't insist on his innocence.

I advise them to try Prince. The music's great, the dancing's great and BONUS he never abused any children. He even made a weird vanity project movie they can enjoy!

A great way to stand up for justice is to go after me for how ugly I am. Two words for you guys: character actors! I'll clean up in tinseltown with this weird AF face!

Flag Twitter and MJ Twitter have been at me for 2 days and they BOTH go for how they wouldn't have sex with me coz I'm so gross. It shows they have no argument and that they're in denial coz they all wanna do me.

The last thing I'm gonna say is: all of this happened because I do a minute and a half bit on the Mega Drive game Moonwalker (it's hilarious btw).