We were pulled over by Nigerian police the last time I was in Naija and this man saw a weapon certification in my wallet and was shocked. The weapon certification had a list of weapons I was qualified to shoot. He yelled "you fit shoot this thing?" I said "yes nau".. he-

Yelled "so if I give you this my gun, you fit shoot am well". I said "boya you should give me and let us see? " He said "who qualify you?". I said "This thing clearly says "Missouri State. Na yankee nah! I mean USA". He yelled "Sergeant Ojo! Sergeant blah blah come o!"

He looked at the uber driver "you come down! And come here! Sergeant! Search the car and search it well. Na huge case dey here! This man fit get guns inside the car! Search it well!" I was just laughing! I was like "Mr Police, why you dey harrasss me?"

They all started to cock their guns anyhow "praaaa move! Kini kan! Stay there! Don't move! If you moveeee?!" I was just laughing" They started telling the bystanders to not move! People were putting hands on their heads like we had done something wrong.

The uber driver started crying "I said guy calm down, no dey give this people chance." They searched o! And found nothing as expected. The boss asked where I lived, and I explained I just came back from the US. I presented my passport and boarding passes to him to back it up.

He asked "let me see your phone" I asked why? He said "you no dey US o, so bring me your phone". I gave it to him "he said wetin be the pin?" I said "well, na my personal phone so..." he yelled "No worry" He called another policeman, I even thought that one was a badass hacker-

And would find a way to unlock my phone. After pressing and pressing. He came to me "oga you need open this phone". I was like "I think say you fit open am nah " I unlocked it and they went through my pictures "why you get oyinbo for phone? Na your Maga dem be?" I said...

Oga I no know wetin you dey talk, but you see say I dey inside those pictures, and I tell your oga say na US I dey live. No be Oyinbo dey US? Abi I no understand" He said "oya open your bank account, make we see if na your name dey there." I said "Never!" He left-

And came back after discussing with their boss for like 2 mins "oga you go follow us reach station. We won collect statement." I said "wait what?" I was like "this people don get me last last". I turned around and told the bystanders that I would need volunteers to follow us -

To station and I promise to give 10 people 2k each, and I told them all I need them for is to drop a statement too, and be our witnesses. They started yelling "I go follow you! I go follow you!" I stopped the next danfo, and explained to the driver and like 4 passengers he had.

The driver said "I go collect N5K" and the passengers understood my situation and left. I told them we were ready "they looked around". The driver yelled "He said, we are ready! Abi why are you policemen doing like unfortunate people". They said they would be back.

They talked and talked and one came and whispered "oga say make you give us 50K make you dey go". I said "ha, me no get money o". We dragged this thing for like 15 mins. I said "Shi shi I no get!" Finally! They said we could leave. I thanked everyone that was supposed to go with-

Us and paid them. These policemen just opened mouth. They delayed us for like 4 hours fam. The uber driver was exhausted. I just paid him after he dropped me off. He said "baba. I dey go house go sleep. Thank you".

I rang the werey around 9pm to come and chop small life with me

He no reach 30 mins he showed up. I said "shebi you say you don tire".. he said "baba but I no too tire to chop life"

This sounds funny I know, but it is disheartening. I was in Naija for 10 days and was harrased 4 different times. I told one of them that I have been living in someone else's land for over 3 years and I have never been harassed like this. Why? Is it wahala to come "home" again?

I remember one policeman sniffing me like a dog and asked me "which perfume you use?" What is your business with the perfume I am wearing? What do you need? He wants to check all the debit/credit cards I had in my wallet to be sure they are all mine, and I wasn't stealing them.