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I finally finished rereading Americanah yesterday and I feel absolutely terrible for Kosi.
That woman was nothing but a kind person to Obinze and even if she did have some “pick me” attributes that was not her fault too.
That’s practically how almost every Igbo woman is raised.
That woman was nothing but a kind person to Obinze and even if she did have some “pick me” attributes that was not her fault too.
That’s practically how almost every Igbo woman is raised.
Ifemelu is still someone I absolutely admire maybe because she showed me at 14 that an alternate reality for Igbo women was possible and I didn’t know I was allowed to be that as a church girl.
Ifemelu is flawed too like Kosi and truth be told her impulsive attitude to me,
Ifemelu is flawed too like Kosi and truth be told her impulsive attitude to me,
was caused by the trauma that came from being an escort & having to block Obinze out of her life due to shame.
I could relate a lot to that.
I’ve blocked out men who were kind bc I didn’t think I deserved it.
At some point reading I even felt some kind of connection to Obinze.
I could relate a lot to that.
I’ve blocked out men who were kind bc I didn’t think I deserved it.
At some point reading I even felt some kind of connection to Obinze.
The one thing I love about CNA is that she shows you that life is not black & white.
There are a lot of grey areas.
I’m actually happy Obinze left Kosi bc to me that leaving as unkind as it was, may be what she needs to be her own person.
She didn’t know who she was outside him.
There are a lot of grey areas.
I’m actually happy Obinze left Kosi bc to me that leaving as unkind as it was, may be what she needs to be her own person.
She didn’t know who she was outside him.
The one thing I took away from me rereading now I’m 22 and a lot more experienced,
is that:
1. Pretence and under-communication is never good in anything from friendships to relationships.
2. Rushing into marriage due to peer pressure even for men will end in tears.
is that:
1. Pretence and under-communication is never good in anything from friendships to relationships.
2. Rushing into marriage due to peer pressure even for men will end in tears.
3. Talking about something or someone that has hurt you sexually as a woman to someone you believe loves you should happen.
If he leaves you, you count your losses and move on to happiness.
Ifemelu should have done this but again depression makes you avoid problems.
If he leaves you, you count your losses and move on to happiness.
Ifemelu should have done this but again depression makes you avoid problems.
4. Stay at home moms deserve a lot of respect.
No woman from the working mum to the single “career lady” is immune to the bullshit that men can come with.
There needs to be some kind of monetary arrangement put in place culturally for stay at home moms cause they do work A LOT.
No woman from the working mum to the single “career lady” is immune to the bullshit that men can come with.
There needs to be some kind of monetary arrangement put in place culturally for stay at home moms cause they do work A LOT.
5. Never make a man your life plan or your financial and even emotional safety nest.
All the women in the book are guilty of it.
It is something Igbo women in real life are guilty of too.
The women who are working like Ifemelu and Ranyinudo use men as emotional soft grounds.
All the women in the book are guilty of it.
It is something Igbo women in real life are guilty of too.
The women who are working like Ifemelu and Ranyinudo use men as emotional soft grounds.
This is even when they can ideally have more options of men.
Ifemelu uses Obinze and brings herself second guessing her worth when he is married.
Ranyinudo uses Don, a married man as a financial and safety net for over two years which can leave her handicapped.
Men are abundant.
Ifemelu uses Obinze and brings herself second guessing her worth when he is married.
Ranyinudo uses Don, a married man as a financial and safety net for over two years which can leave her handicapped.
Men are abundant.
Kosi uses Obinze as a financial safety net such that she tolerates nonsense from him as long as “he comes home to her”.
Aunty Uju uses The General as a financial safety net too and when he dies it takes her years to get to a point of happiness with her settling at some point.
Aunty Uju uses The General as a financial safety net too and when he dies it takes her years to get to a point of happiness with her settling at some point.
My main take away from this rereading is that every woman has a story and you must not turn your nose up at another woman.
Also, as crazy as it sounds coming from me I also took away that men are also human.
They are wicked but they too are products of this gendered world.
Also, as crazy as it sounds coming from me I also took away that men are also human.
They are wicked but they too are products of this gendered world.
You may want to see this thread: https://twitter.com/asangelwassayin/status/1233449691293143042
And this too. Do tell me what you think. https://twitter.com/asangelwassayin/status/1349395726506352643
