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AFTER CARE: SUB AND DOM DROPS.
What you as a dom can do and what you as a sub could do (especially in ldr BDSM relationships).
A thread.+
What you as a dom can do and what you as a sub could do (especially in ldr BDSM relationships).
A thread.+
A sub drop is the drop after the high/rush of dopamine, enkephalins, epinephrine, and endorphins after a scene. When the happy hormones fade many people can experience different forms of "sub drops" from feeling exhausted and cold to feeling mentally and emotionally distressed.+
If impact play or other forms of pain is inflicted on the sub their body's natural response is to make cortisol.Even if you enjoy the pain during the scene ",your adrenal gland produces cortisol to help prevent damage to your tissues due to inflammation."(1st link for more info)+
Sub drops don't always happen directly after play, most can happen 12-72 hours after. This is why communication between a dom and a sub is extremely important. Leaving your dom out of the loop of your emotions can be very damaging to your well being. Always voice your needs.+
A dom drop is generally (but not always) leaves the dom vulnerable and closed offish about their needs ex: cleaning up, getting water, reassurance/praise and the questioning of ones morals. Thoughts of "what kind of person am I?" "How could I hurt people and like it?"+
Another form of dom drop is if the play is interrupted the sudden drop of those happy hormones could lead the dom into a depressive state and could leave them at a cross roads of emotions. Many times it could leave them overwhelmed and in need of help.+
How can I help my sub?
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Just like aftercare if varies from person to person. While one sub may need an extension of aftercare and praise; others may need help with self care and check ins over the phone. Regardless of what one may need just voicing that you'll be there for them+
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Just like aftercare if varies from person to person. While one sub may need an extension of aftercare and praise; others may need help with self care and check ins over the phone. Regardless of what one may need just voicing that you'll be there for them+
can go a very long way for someone experiencing a sub drop. Giving them to breathe and to catch their breathe, to eat and drink water, to bathe and maybe even stretch. These are all valid forms of care. Asking your sub what they need will also help you feel less in the dark.+
Communication will always play the most important part. Especially in long distanced situations that many of us are apart of. Phone calls or even pillow talk after a scene by sharing likes and dislikes and even sleeping on call can help soothe some. Always do your own research.
How can I help my dom?
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Reassurance goes a long way for many reasons. Simply hearing, "I'm okay," "I know you you will never say or do anything to hurt me," "I know you're a good person," "I had fun you did a good job." Can let your dom know you enjoyed everything they did+
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Reassurance goes a long way for many reasons. Simply hearing, "I'm okay," "I know you you will never say or do anything to hurt me," "I know you're a good person," "I had fun you did a good job." Can let your dom know you enjoyed everything they did+
and that what they said or in many cases what you made them do was out of pleasure and not out of hate. Basic forms of aftercare should always be shared between both partners. Always voicing your need is another given. Doms are not the only ones that should be checking in+
Another given is letting your sub know if you may need space or may need to talk a few hours or a day later. You being vulnerable and exhausted is valid and feeling like a "bad dom" for experiencing human emotion is the part that will never be valid. Always do your own research.
Other resources: https://badgirlsbible.com/sub-drop
