Even after 3 years of separation/divorce finding out about additional betrayal from the past still stings deeper than I’d like. It makes me feel stupid sometimes but I’ve just come to the conclusion that I cannot regret the love that I have given.

I pulled into my driveway tonight feeling sad and down but listening to my kids laugh in the car and then walking into our home reminded me how God has faithfully gone before us and has already turned some of our ashes into something so beautiful.

When I think about the “what if’s” and doing life differently I realize that I actually really love this life that I have. I’m not a fan of how we have gotten here. I do hate that things ended up the way they did with my ex but I cannot fathom not having my kids.

I don’t want to imagine a life that doesn’t include them even if it’s free of the pain of a failed marriage. That thought hurts so much more than the pain of the betrayal and everything else that happened in the past.

So on this Valentine’s Day weekend I am still celebrating love. I’m celebrating the love that I was brave enough to give even when I realized it wasn’t being returned because it gave me the loves I have now. I’m celebrating the love of these two who I adore living this life with!